Adventures of Des and Cort

Welcome to the Adventures of Des & Cort podcast, where lifelong friendship meets unfiltered conversation. Join Des and Cort, two best friends, as they invite you into their world filled with laughter, tears, and everything in between. In each episode, Des and Cort delve deep into the intricacies of their bond, sharing stories of their adventures, triumphs, and challenges. From navigating the complexities of relationships to tackling career aspirations and personal growth, nothing is off-limits. But this podcast isn't just about Des and Cort—it's a celebration of the sisterhood and camaraderie that binds women together. Through their candid discussions and relatable anecdotes, they aim to create a safe and welcoming space where listeners can see themselves reflected, find solidarity, and perhaps glean a nugget of wisdom or two. So whether you're in need of a good laugh, a shoulder to lean on, or simply seeking connection with kindred spirits,

Adventures of Des and Cort is a comedy podcast hosted by adventuresofdesandcort, with 116 episodes on record and a Required Pod Score of 80. PitchCentric scores this show on Booking Probability, Listen Score, and live audience signals refreshed every 24 hours.

adventuresofdesandcort hosts Adventures of Des and Cort, a comedy show with 116 episodes published.

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  Episode #117

  The People's Elbow

  Aug 27, 202628 min

  Send us Fan Mail This week on Adventures of Des and Cort , we're learning that even reaching for a swimsuit cover-up can apparently become a contact sport. Des's Hot Flash this week starts innocently enough. She reached into a tote for a swimsuit cover-up and somehow managed to grab the iron cord instead . The iron came flying directly off the shelf and straight onto her head. Immediate rage. Seeing stars. A brief moment of questioning every life choice that led her to this moment. Then, naturally, Google searches. Because apparently the first thing you do after getting assaulted by your own household appliance is ask the internet if you're dying. Cort didn't have a Hot Flash this week. Instead, she wanted to give her husband some well-deserved praise. Josh is the ultimate hype man and apparently has an unlimited supply of compliments, encouragement and affection. We love a man who knows his assignment. ❤️ We also check in on our brand-new Hot Flashers Fantasy Football League . It's all women, there are LOTS of questions, some confusion, and absolutely no shortage of confidence. Do we know exactly what we're doing? Not yet. Are we going to have fun? 100%. Then we had our final water aerobics class of the season and we are genuinely bummed about it. Warm water, sunshine, movement, and a bunch of ladies laughing together? Sign us up. We're already looking forward to next year. ‍♀️☀️ And of course, we have our usual side conversations that somehow take us in twelve completely different directions. An iron attack. A husband appreciation moment. Fantasy football confusion. The end of our water aerobics era. Just another completely normal day with Des & Cort. Listen now to Adventures of Des and Cort on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts! We can't grow without your support! Do us a solid and leave a review! Don't forget to follow and share! Instagram: @adventures_of_des_and_cort TikTok: @adventuresofdesandcort

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  Episode #116

  Why are you touching me?

  Aug 20, 202633 min

  Send us Fan Mail This week on Adventures of Des and Cort , we have questions. Important questions. Questions humanity has apparently been avoiding. Like... how the hell do you face in the shower? Front? Back? Sideways? Are you a flipper who rotates with the water like a rotisserie chicken? Cort has discovered she may be the odd woman out because she showers sideways or backward, while Des and apparently everyone else she questioned are full-on flippers. We need answers. This may be the most important poll we've ever conducted. But first, our Hot Flashes are HOT Des is irritated because her brother, with the best intentions, changed her parents' phone plan. Sounds helpful... until you realize Des will inevitably be the one answering all the questions when something stops working. Sometimes you just have to leave well enough alone, people. Cort's Hot Flash is a little more personal. Handsy husbands. Specifically, husbands who decide NOW is the perfect time for physical affection when you absolutely do not want to be touched. Apparently, there is no safe position. Can't bend over. Can't walk by. Can't exist peacefully. Ladies, you understand. We also escaped our normal routines and tried water aerobics , and honestly... we're obsessed. Warm weather, perfect water temperature, beautiful pool, and the nicest group of ladies. It was exactly the kind of grandma activity we didn't know we needed. There are only three sessions left next Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, so if you've been thinking about going, GO! ‍♀️ Then Des tells us a story that will make you sleep differently forever. A cockroach got into a woman's ear... and Des actually SAW THEM REMOVE IT. We repeat: SHE SAW IT. There will now be cotton in ears, excessive pillow checking, and absolutely no sleeping peacefully. We also talk about the Lindsey Clancy trial and the questions we're having about the timeline and what we've heard so far. We're talking through our reactions and why reasonable doubt is weighing heavily on our minds. And, naturally, there are approximately 900 side conversations because staying on topic is simply not our ministry. Listen now to Adventures of Des and Cort on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts! #adventuresofdesandcort #howdoyoushower #podcastlife #womeninour40s #hotflashes #wateraerobics #midlifechaos #friendship #yapsesh #grandmaera We can't grow without your support! Do us a solid and leave a review! Don't forget to follow and share! Instagram: @adventures_of_des_and_cort TikTok: @adventuresofdesandcort

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  Episode #115

  Current Wife

  Aug 13, 202627 min

  Send us Fan Mail This week on Adventures of Des and Cort , we're confronting the things that make us cringe, question our marriages, and wonder why we can't just act normal on the internet. Des's Hot Flash this week is... our old social media posts. The dancing. The singing. The wigs. The mortgage page content that seemed like a great idea at the time. Now? Absolutely horrifying. Nothing will humble you faster than watching yourself from five years ago with a little more wisdom and a LOT more secondhand embarrassment. Cort's Hot Flash is overthinking. Why do we spend so much time worrying, analyzing, imagining every possible outcome... and then eventually do the thing anyway? Why can't we just GO FOR IT? Apparently our brains need to hold a full committee meeting before making a decision. Then we discover the singing car salesman on Instagram who blesses your new car with a full-on song when you purchase it. We have one thing to say... Please don't. We would like our vehicle, our keys, and our dignity. No personalized performance necessary. Then Cort drops the bomb that Josh casually referred to her as his "current wife." Just slipped it into conversation like that was a completely normal thing to say. His reaction? Hilarious. Cort's initial reaction? Less hilarious. We also get into the Brooks Nader conversation and the question nobody can stop thinking about... how comfortable are you being topless around your family? Girlfriends? Fine. Mom? Okay, maybe. But Dad walks in and suddenly we're reaching for a robe, a blanket, a tablecloth... literally anything. Then we introduce our newest word: Snerdle. Do you know what it means? Probably not. Do we snerdle every night? Absolutely. Is it now officially part of our vocabulary? Unfortunately, yes. Add in our usual side conversations, random opinions, marriage commentary, and enough yapping to make you wonder how we ever get anything done. Listen now to Adventures of Des and Cort on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. We can't grow without your support! Do us a solid and leave a review! Don't forget to follow and share! Instagram: @adventures_of_des_and_cort TikTok: @adventuresofdesandcort

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  Episode #114

  F*ckalanche

  Aug 5, 202632 min

  Send us Fan Mail This week on Adventures of Des and Cort , we're introducing a brand new word to the English language... and if you've lived long enough, you've probably experienced one. F*ckalanche. You'll know it when you hear it. Our Hot Flashes kick things off with neighborhood nuisances. Des is officially over the dogs that bark at absolutely everything. You know the ones. You're just trying to sit outside, embrace your grandma era, water your flowers, work on your latest hobby, and suddenly you're starring in a nonstop canine concert. If your dog is announcing every leaf that blows by, respectfully... we'd like to file a complaint. Meanwhile, Cort is battling a far more modern crisis. There is ONE notification on her Facebook Messenger that refuses to disappear. She's clicked everything. She's searched everywhere. She's accepted defeat. Is this just elder millennial life now? Because if one little red notification is staring at us all day, our nervous systems cannot relax. Des also recaps an outdoor concert in 105-degree heat where everyone was packed together so tightly it felt approximately 147 degrees. Then, just when she thought it couldn't get worse, a teenage girl casually spitting into the packed lawn seating area... dangerously close to her husbands hand. Between the heat, the crowds, and the complete lack of spatial awareness, she was one body temperature away from becoming the headline. Then Cort asks an important driving question... If you're in the fast lane on the interstate, surrounded by traffic, are you controlling your speed with the gas pedal... or are you repeatedly setting and resetting your cruise control? Because whoever keeps using cruise control in heavy traffic has unknowingly been testing her emotional stability for years. She stayed quiet... but internally? There was a full-blown F*ckalanche. As always, we wander into random side quests, overshare a little too much, laugh at ourselves, and somehow invent vocabulary along the way. Listen now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts! #adventuresofdesandcort #fuckalanche #podcastlife #womeninour40s #hotflashes #midlifehumor #friendship #eldermillennial #concertchaos #yapsesh We can't grow without your support! Do us a solid and leave a review! Don't forget to follow and share! Instagram: @adventures_of_des_and_cort TikTok: @adventuresofdesandcort

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  Episode #113

  Sh*t, Sh*t, Sh*t, God Damn

  Jul 30, 202637 min

  Send us Fan Mail This week on Adventures of Des and Cort , we're just out here trying to survive... and the universe is making it unnecessarily difficult. Idaho is currently covered in smoke so thick Des swears she's been smoking a pack a day. Every breath feels sponsored by Marlboro, and after reading one alarming article online, she's now convinced opening a window for too long might send her straight into cardiac arrest. (Please don't fact-check us. We're simply reporting from the panic section of the internet. ) Then Cort recaps her trip to Michigan, and let's just say preparing for an early flight in your 40s is a completely different experience than it was in your 20s. Back then, you just... didn't go to bed. Now it's all about getting a solid six or seven hours of sleep because functioning on two hours is no longer a personality trait. And don't even think about traveling without your entire skincare routine. Missing one night? Absolutely not. We've worked too hard on these faces to let airport travel undo all our progress. Getting home, however, was where the real chaos began. If you've checked a bag, that 45-minute cutoff before your flight is a hard 45 minutes...not 46. Unfortunately, an airline employee seemed absolutely determined to prove that point. She was loud, dramatic, and apparently operating under a strict "kindness is not included with your ticket" policy. You know the type. Less "How can I help?" and more "I'm going to make this a problem." Thankfully, cooler heads prevailed, but it definitely added a little unnecessary excitement to the trip. We also talk about one of our biggest pet peeves... people who excuse aggressive dogs by saying, "Oh, they're just protective." Protective of what? Des’s mom Dee was standing in her own yard when a neighborhood dog charged at her. Thankfully the owners called it back just in time, but let's agree that almost becoming a chew toy isn't a personality trait anyone should have to accept. Naturally, we wander into a dozen side chats, laugh at ourselves more than anyone else, and somehow make smoke, airports, and neighborhood dogs all belong in the same conversation. If your week has felt like one long string of "Sh* t, sh* t, sh*t... God damn," this episode is for you. Listen now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. We can't grow without your support! Do us a solid and leave a review! Don't forget to follow and share! Instagram: @adventures_of_des_and_cort TikTok: @adventuresofdesandcort

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