AND/BOTH Podcast - Real Conversations, Shared Experiences, and the Community You've Been Missing

Hear from moms in all different scenarios doing their absolute best to honor themselves as individuals in a world that would prefer, as mothers, we not. ⁠ ⁠ Hear from moms who are trying to figure out what that "something" is after the life altering transition into motherhood.⁠ ⁠ Hear from moms that say "I know I need to do something for myself and this is what it is, but it feels impossible to do it"⁠ ⁠ What is the AND/BOTH that you are juggling with motherhood? Career, hobbies, entrepreneurship, new identity, new activities, new passions and interests?⁠

AND/BOTH Podcast - Real Conversations, Shared Experiences, and the Community You've Been Missing is a kids podcast hosted by Dr. Ashley Blackington, with 129 episodes on record and a Required Pod Score of 80. PitchCentric scores this show on Booking Probability, Listen Score, and live audience signals refreshed every 24 hours.

Dr. Ashley Blackington hosts AND/BOTH Podcast - Real Conversations, Shared Experiences, and the Community You've Been Missing, a kids show with 129 episodes published.

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  Episode #128

  128. Becky Selbie on Mums Who Look Like They’re Coping but Feel Like They’re Failing

  Aug 7, 20261 hourS11

  Becky Selbie is a London-based psychotherapist who specialises in motherhood and maternal mental health — and she has a gift for taking the frameworks she uses in her therapy room and translating them into language that actually lands in everyday life. In this conversation, Ashley and Becky cover a lot of ground: matrescence and why the word matters so much, the rule book that high-achieving women carry into motherhood that starts working against them the moment they get there, the mums who look like they’re coping but feel like they’re failing, the difference between motherhood and mothering, and why the inner critic telling you you’re not good enough isn’t your voice — it’s the noise of a culture that has never held mothers in the regard they deserve. It’s one of those conversations that leaves you seeing yourself differently. In This Episode How Becky came to specialise in maternal mental health — giving birth and thinking “how has nobody prepared me for this?” Matrescence — why the word matters, where it came from, and why it took 50 years to reach mainstream language The moment Becky heard it for the first time and ran downstairs to tell her husband Sharing the concept with her mother — who had her first child in the 1960s and was prescribed tranquilizers for what was actually matrescence Why high-achieving women struggle in motherhood more than others — and the rule book that explains why Mums who look like they’re coping but feel like they’re failing — and what the swan metaphor gets exactly right The “tab open” metaphor — why you never feel fully disconnected from your children even when you’re away from them Not loving every chapter — and why that has nothing to do with how much you love your kids The problem with parenting content on social media — theory without context, and who pays the price Why Becky’s clinical supervisor said “well, she will” when a client was terrified of messing up her kids — and why that was the most freeing thing she’d ever heard Motherhood vs. mothering — the doing versus the being, and why we’re graded on the wrong one The inner critic is the patriarchy — and why turning down its volume is the whole point What fills Becky’s bucket: creativity, building community, and the retreat she’s planning for mums Quotes From This Episode “Not loving motherhood doesn’t mean that you don’t love mothering. Just because you don’t enjoy bits of motherhood, there is no connection to how you feel about your kids.” — Becky Selbie “The inner critic is wrong. The inner critic is the patriarchy — it’s society, it’s all those messages about what motherhood should look like. And it’s nonsense.” — Becky Selbie “Motherhood is the doing. Mothering is the being — the relationship, the love, the knowing them inside out. But we’re graded on the doing.” — Becky Selbie “Even when you’re away, there’s a tab open all the time in your head. It’s just that as they get older, the tab gets smaller.” — Becky Selbie “Don’t compare the back end of your business to the front end of somebody else’s.” — Ashley Blackington Connect with Becky: Instagram: @_motherway_ Website: motherway.co.uk Connect with Ashley: Website: https://www.ashleyblackington.com Podcast website: https://www.andbothpodcast.com/ Dovetail® App: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/dovetail-app/id6744341822 Instagram: @mydovetail.app LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyblackington/

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  Episode #127

  127. Day Raves, Dinner Parties & Polymer Clay: Katie Schlott’s Experiment in Authentic Networking

  Jul 24, 20261h 9mS11

  Katie Schlott spent 20 years in innovation — running experiments, iterating, testing what works. So when she realized her professional network had quietly gone dark during the years she was deep in parenting, she did what any good strategist would do: she designed an experiment. Day raves. Pop-up dinners in strangers’ homes. Perfume making fundraisers. Online Slack communities. Wonder Woman dinners. A volunteer board for women’s health research. She tried all of it, wrote about it for Inc Magazine, and then came back on AND/BOTH to talk through what she actually found. The conversation covers the new rules of networking, why smaller rooms build realer connections, how parents in particular need to rethink the whole model, and what happens when you decide to build the community you can’t find. Plus Costco. A lot about Costco. In This Episode Why Katie ran a networking experiment — and what the traditional model was missing The day rave, the pop-up dinner, the perfume fundraiser — what each one taught her The Old Girls Club and Society of Working Mothers — online communities built on realness over résumés Wonder Woman Dinners — strangers become friends in under two hours, and why it works “Tell me something Google doesn’t know about you” — the opener that changes everything Why funny is sticky and vulnerability gets built through shared experiences If you can’t find what you’re looking for, build it — Brilliant Failures, Brilliant Mothers, Mama Palooza Joining a volunteer board for women’s health research and what that unlocked Why big conferences are often the least efficient use of a parent’s limited time and energy Managing your network based on energy levels, not just calendar availability What happens when you let your network go dark — and how to rebuild authentically How to be direct about what you’re looking for instead of hoping the room delivers it Networking with teenagers at home — and the season-by-season nature of connection Quotes From This Episode “If you think you’re an N of one, you’re actually an N of 100. Just start it.” — Katie Schlott “Funny is sticky. Vulnerability is created in moments where you’re actually having fun with people.” — Katie Schlott “I want to join communities that thrive on real life, not résumés.” — Katie Schlott “Every single founder said: just pick one thing, just start with one. Don’t be overwhelmed, just get the ball rolling.” — Katie Schlott “The smaller rooms are the best. Everything that follows from a small room conversation — the email, the introduction, the follow-up — none of that ever comes from a big conference.” — Ashley Blackington Resources & Links Connect with Katie on LinkedIn Read Katie's lnc. Magazine article on " The New Rules of Networking " Check out her consultancy and read ALL her articles (Fast Company, Inc and Business Insider) Buy the magical Costco totes that she uses to keep her cart contents tight! Connect with Ashley: Website: https://www.ashleyblackington.com Podcast website: https://www.andbothpodcast.com/ Dovetail® App: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/dovetail-app/id6744341822 Instagram: @mydovetail.app LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyblackington/

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  Episode #126

  126. I Got a Call from Kenya: Adoption, NICU, Newborn Care & Building the Modern Village with Kristin Smith of Well Supported Family

  Jul 10, 202656 minS11

  Kristin Smith has spent 20 years helping new families survive the hardest weeks of their lives. As the founder of Well Supported Family — a team of over 200 postpartum doulas, newborn care specialists, and nurses operating across 12 states — she’s built the modern village that most families desperately need and almost nobody has access to. Now she has a two-month-old of her own. An adopted son she got the call about while she was standing at an elephant orphanage in Kenya. He came home through the NICU. And for the first time, she’s on the parent side of everything she’s built — learning what it feels like to need the very support she’s spent two decades providing. In this conversation, Ashley and Kristin talk about the postpartum care gap, the different paths to parenthood, what actually happens in those first nights home, and what it looks like to practice exactly what you preach. In This Episode How Kristin started — a postpartum doula at 19 after having her daughter with almost no support Growing Well Supported Family from a private practice to a team of 200+ across 12 states Why postpartum care in the US is so inadequate — and what it would take to fix it What in-home newborn care actually looks like and how it’s tailored to each family The RV team, the travel team, and how they reach families in almost every state NICU babies coming home — the adjustment nobody prepares families for The call from Kenya — a failed adoption, four days into a trip, at an elephant orphanage Three rounds of IVF and what that experience gave her as a provider Being on the parent side for the first time — and convincing herself her own baby was broken Why adopted babies don’t get the postpartum support they need — and the rude awakening that followed The philosophy at the heart of her work: build children into your life, not your life around them What’s next — expanding into mental health support and more states Quotes From This Episode “You can have a wound inside your body the size of a basketball, and it was attached. Just because nobody sees it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.” — Kristin Smith “I don’t believe parents should build their life around children. I believe they should build children into their lives.” — Kristin Smith “I was at the elephant orphanage when this baby was born. That feels so symbolic.” — Kristin Smith “I was convinced he was broken. I’m a professional. What is he doing? And then someone said, he was four weeks early. You’re expecting a lot right now.” — Kristin Smith “It’s not just giving them the break they need — it’s helping them learn to build a life with their child.” — Kristin Smith Resources & Links Well Supported Family: wellsupportedfamily.com Baby Care Classes: available via wellsupportedfamily.com Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube: @wellsupportedfamily Find Kristin on Facebook: Kristin Lee Connect with Ashley: Website: https://www.ashleyblackington.com Podcast website: https://www.andbothpodcast.com/ Dovetail® App: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/dovetail-app/id6744341822 Instagram: @mydovetail.care LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyblackington/

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  Episode #125

  125. This Pain Ends with Us: Breaking the Burnout Loop for the Next Generation Using Notice and Do with Sam Kelly

  Jun 26, 202655 minS11

  Sam Kelly was making a Saturday morning to-do list for her kids on a Friday night when it hit her. She’d just spent a year teaching her husband not to rely on her to notice what needed to be done — and here she was, about to hand her children the same broken script. She dropped the marker, went to bed, and the next morning introduced her family to Notice and Do. Two years later she has a book deal with Harper Collins, a viral online platform, and a method that’s helping burned-out mothers around the world finally get their families off the sidelines. In this conversation, Ashley and Sam talk about the mental load, the burnout loop, intergenerational cycle-breaking, and what it actually looks like to teach kids — including neurodivergent ones — to be a real part of the family team. In This Episode The Friday night moment that sparked the Notice and Do method What Notice and Do actually is — and how it differs from a chore chart The Big Three — Sam’s daily structure for kids of any age or ability The learning ladder — why perfection isn’t the point and every rung counts Teaching neurodivergent kids to notice — and why it works even when nothing else has The five cycle-breaking conversations — age-appropriate language for mental load, burnout, and equity Why rage cleaning is never really about the messy kitchen The burnout loop — quarterly mommy meltdowns, putting your head down, and repeat Why self care isn’t enough — and why supportive care needs to be the new conversation What it’s like to teach an adult partner versus teaching kids — and why those are completely separate things The full circle moment: how Notice and Do liberated Sam enough to write the book How to approach this when your kids just don’t care — and why that’s actually fine What she hopes the next generation looks like when this work takes hold Quotes From This Episode “Mental load is a whole family issue. Whole family issues require whole family solutions.” — Sam Kelly “Supportive care needs to be the new self care. Who is caring for the mom?” — Sam Kelly “It’s not about the messy kitchen. It’s about what that mess is triggering underneath — feeling taken for granted, feeling lonely, feeling unseen.” — Sam Kelly “This pain ends with us. This ends here and now.” — Sam Kelly “Notice and Do liberated me enough to create this book. And if it can liberate me at that level, it can liberate anyone.” — Sam Kelly Resources & Links Notice and Do (Harper Collins, pre-order now) Instagram: @samkelly_world Audio course: available via Sam’s Instagram link Request at your local library and indie bookstore Connect with Ashley: Website: https://www.ashleyblackington.com Podcast website: https://www.andbothpodcast.com/ Dovetail® App: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/dovetail-app/id6744341822 Instagram: @mydovetail.app LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyblackington/

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  Episode #124

  124. Nobody’s Getting a Medal: Motherhood, Mental Health & Letting Go of the Performance with Amanda Timonere

  Jun 12, 202653 minS11

  Amanda Timonere spent a decade at the top of the clinical world — chief clinical officer of a multi-state mental health and substance use treatment center — before becoming a mom and realizing she wanted to do something different. Not because she couldn’t do the job. Because she was missing time with her kids and because she saw a gap in care for mothers that she was uniquely positioned to fill. Now she runs Zenful Mamas, a private practice and coaching platform built around perinatal mental health and the concept of matrescence — the neurological and psychological transformation of becoming a mother. In this conversation, Ashley and Amanda talk about what that transformation actually looks like, why so many women arrive at motherhood completely unprepared for it, and what it means to break the cycle of the blueprint you didn’t know you were carrying. In This Episode What matrescence is — and why most mothers have never heard of it The neurological reality of what happens to our brains when we become parents How Amanda’s own anxiety through pregnancy and postpartum led her to this work Walking into motherhood with a generational blueprint you don’t know exists Why women — especially high-achieving women — resist asking for help The difference between therapy and coaching, and how Amanda decides which one a client actually needs Her 12-week program “Rewrite Before You Repeat” — and what it’s designed to do Navigating the relationship between new parents and grandparents when parenting philosophies clash Why the women who appear to have it all together either have a lot of help or aren’t telling the whole story The AI dependency conversation — what it means for mental health support and clinical training Solo parenting a two and four year old while running a practice — what that actually looks like Her vision for Zenful Mamas as a hub for maternal mental health — therapy, coaching, breathwork, Reiki, and more Quotes From This Episode “We’re walking into motherhood with a blueprint that we don’t even know exists.” — Amanda Timonere “It’s not a matter of weak or strong. There is a neurological change in our mind that’s happening and it’s so far beyond our control.” — Amanda Timonere “Preventative care is the best care.” — Amanda Timonere “Having kids is like holding up a mirror to yourself. It’s like everything is exposed and we’re figuring it out.” — Amanda Timonere “There’s no prize at the end of the day for doing it all perfectly. There’s never going to be a medal ceremony and someone will be the valedictorian of motherhood.” — Ashley Blackington Resources & Links Zenful Mamas: zenfulMamas.com Instagram: @zenful_mamas Zenful Mamas Inner Circle — low-commitment monthly groups for nervous system regulation 12-week coaching program: Rewrite Before You Repeat Connect with Ashley: Website: https://www.ashleyblackington.com Podcast website: https://www.andbothpodcast.com/ Dovetail® App: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/dovetail-app/id6744341822 Instagram: @mydovetail.app LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyblackington/

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