Ask The Betrayed

The Ask The Betrayed podcast provides tangible hope to those in crisis and a safe place for Betrayed Partners to find healing and insight into the behaviors of the Unfaithful (who can also to learn how to help their Betrayed partners heal). We hope to fulfill a great need for betrayed partners to hear professionals who have personally experienced the deep traumatic pain of betrayal: Ask the Betrayed not only provides expert insight, it is hosted by two Betrayed Partners in long-term recovery from Betrayal Trauma, Sharon and Rae, who both specialize in helping Betrayed Partners, the Unfaithful and Couples recover from betrayal:- Sharon is a Licensed Therapist and Certified Professional Coach who is certified in betrayal trauma and, along with her husband, James Annear (@AskTheUnfaithful)- Rae is a Master Certified Life, Relationship and Divorce coachAsk the Betrayed airs every other week, alternating with it's companion channel, Ask the Unfaithful (@asktheunfaithful)

Ask The Betrayed is a society podcast hosted by Sharon & Rae, with 35 episodes on record and a Required Pod Score of 80.

Sharon & Rae hosts Ask The Betrayed, a society show with 35 episodes published.

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  Episode #32

  WHO SHOULD YOU TELL ABOUT THE BETRAYAL AND WHO SHOULD YOU NOT TELL?

  Sep 17, 202621 minS1

  Please Comment, Like and Subscribe - we would love to develop our community more and reach more people who need help! Thank you! After betrayal, the instinct to reach out for support can be overwhelming – and is necessary. You may desperately need someone who understands, someone who will listen, or simply someone who can remind you that you are not alone. But deciding who to tell about an affair or betrayal can be complicated: Tell everyone, and you may later wish some people didn't know. Tell no one, and you may find yourself carrying betrayal trauma in painful isolation. In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae talk about how to make thoughtful decisions about who to tell, when to tell, what to share, and why you're sharing it after discovering infidelity. Sharon and Rae discuss: • How to decide who is emotionally safe to tell about infidelity • How you can safely share your experience of being betrayed • Why you don't owe everyone an explanation about what is happening in your life and how to set boundaries around that • The difference between someone who is supportive and someone who is simply curious • Why telling everyone—or telling no one—can both have consequences • How to find people who can support you without taking control of your decisions • Why a good support person needs to be able to do and what they should NOT do. • When a betrayal trauma professional may be an important part of your support system • How to approach friends, family members, faith communities, and spiritual leaders carefully • What to do when someone you've trusted can no longer support the choices you're making • What to do if you've already told someone you now wish you hadn't • How an unfaithful partner may feel about other people knowing - and why the betrayed partner still deserves safe support – and how to handle that without surrendering your right to share your pain. One of the strongest themes in this conversation is choice and autonomy. Please comment - We'd love to hear what you took away from this podcast. If this episode encourages you, please Like, Subscribe, and Share to help others recovering from betrayal trauma find hope and practical tools for healing. Please Subscribe (and Like) for More Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com ) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

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  Episode #31

  BETRAYAL RECOVERY: COMING BACK TOGETHER AFTER THERAPEUTIC SEPARATION? WATCH THIS FIRST

  Sep 2, 202632 minS1

  How do you come back together after a therapeutic separation—without slipping right back into the patterns that pulled you apart? A therapeutic separation can create much-needed space for healing, clarity, independence, and personal growth after betrayal. But eventually, couples who hope to reconcile face another difficult question: Are we actually ready to reconnect—and if we are, how do we do it safely? In this episode of Ask the Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore what reconciliation after a therapeutic separation really looks like. Rather than rushing back into the relationship, they discuss why reconnection is often best approached gradually—through small interactions, careful observation, honest reflection, and an ongoing willingness to protect the growth each partner developed while apart. They also explore an important shift in how couples measure progress: The goal isn't to never experience another rupture. The real question is whether the couple has learned how to repair differently when ruptures inevitably occur. In this episode, you'll learn how to: • Recognize whether a therapeutic separation has accomplished what it was intended to accomplish. • Reintroduce communication and time together gradually instead of rushing back into the relationship. • Protect the independence, boundaries, and personal growth developed during separation. • Resist returning to old roles, defenses, and relationship patterns. • Allow the unfaithful partner to carry responsibilities the betrayed partner may previously have carried for the relationship. • Learn to simply be together again without making every interaction about betrayal and recovery. • Evaluate how you actually feel before, during, and after reconnecting. • Recognize the difference between change that occurs and change that sustains. • Look for shared meaning, curiosity, honesty, presence, and increasing stability. • Practice uncomfortable truth-telling rather than masking or people-pleasing. • Recognize genuine engagement with recovery. • Begin noticing what your partner is doing right without abandoning healthy awareness of danger. • Ask perhaps the most important question of all: What is the purpose of coming back together? Reconciliation after betrayal requires risk. There will be missteps. Old patterns will reappear. But those moments don't necessarily mean recovery is failing. Sometimes the clearest evidence of change isn't whether a rupture happens. It's what the two of you do next. If you're considering whether it's time to reconcile after therapeutic separation - or wondering whether you and your partner are truly ready to come back together - this episode offers practical guidance for rebuilding the bridge without losing yourself along the way. Please comment - We'd love to hear what you took away from this podcast. If this episode encourages you, please Like, Subscribe, and Share to help others recovering from betrayal trauma find hope and practical tools for healing. Please Subscribe (and Like) for More Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com ) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

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  Episode #29

  When Has The Unfaithful Had Enough Attention?

  Aug 5, 202630 minS1

  Are you constantly watching your unfaithful partner, hoping they'll finally make you feel safe again? After betrayal, it's completely understandable to focus on what your partner is doing. They're the source of the trauma. But what if true healing begins when your sense of safety no longer depends entirely on their choices? In this episode of Ask the Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore one of the most important—and often overlooked—concepts in betrayal trauma recovery: building internal safety. You'll learn why hypervigilance, while a completely understandable trauma reaction, can keep you trapped in survival mode, and how shifting your focus back to yourself creates the stability needed for lasting healing. In this episode, you'll discover: Why betrayed partners naturally become hypervigilant after infidelity. The difference between external safety and internal safety. Why your healing cannot depend entirely on your partner's recovery. How betrayal trauma disrupts your sense of trust in yourself and the world. Five practical ways to build internal safety. How learning to trust yourself again becomes one of the greatest gifts of healing. Learn how your greatest source of safety can become you. Healing isn't about pretending the danger never existed. Healing is about re-learning that you can navigate life - even when uncertainty remains. Please comment - We'd love to hear what you took away from this podcast. Please Subscribe (and Like) for More Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

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  Episode #27

  S3 - A Simple Tool for Measuring Progress

  Jun 24, 20264 minS1

  Healing after betrayal doesn't always happen in big, obvious moments. Sometimes recovery looks like one calmer day. One difficult conversation handled differently. One moment where you feel a little more grounded than you did last week. In this Ask The Betrayed Short, Rae shares a simple but powerful tool for tracking your healing journey. Using this method, you can begin to see patterns in your emotional wellbeing, recovery progress, and relationship dynamics—without adding another overwhelming task to your to-do list. If you've ever wondered: • "Am I actually making progress?" • "Why do some days feel so much harder than others?" • "How can I track my healing without journaling for hours?" This simple practice will help you notice growth that would otherwise go unseen. Remember: Healing isn't linear, but progress leaves clues. If this episode resonated, please like, subscribe, and share — it helps others find support and hope after betrayal. 💬 Please comment - We'd love to hear what you took away from this podcast. 🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com ) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

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  Episode #26

  IMPACT STATEMENTS: THE HEALING POWER OF SHARING THE IMPACT OF BETRAYAL WITH THE UNFAITHFUL

  Jun 10, 202628 minS1

  Have you ever wished your unfaithful partner could truly understand what betrayal has done to you? In this powerful episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore one of the most transformative tools in betrayal trauma recovery: the Impact Statement. An Impact Statement gives betrayed partners the opportunity to put words to the emotional, relational, sexual, spiritual, financial, vocational, and personal injuries caused by betrayal. It is a chance to tell the truth about what happened—not only to the relationship, but to you. In this episode, we discuss: ✔ What an Impact Statement is and why it matters ✔ How impact statements fit into the betrayal recovery process ✔ Different ways to write and structure an impact letter ✔ Why this process can be empowering and healing ✔ The role of professional support during impact statement work ✔ How impact statements help unfaithful partners understand the true impact of betrayal ✔ Real examples of powerful impact statement language ✔ Why being witnessed matters in healing from betrayal trauma Whether your relationship survives or not, your story deserves to be heard. One of the most painful realities of betrayal is carrying the impact alone. An Impact Statement creates the opportunity to reclaim your voice, organize your experience, and speak the truth about what happened to you. Because healing begins when your reality is no longer minimized, dismissed, or hidden. If this episode resonated, please like, subscribe, and share — it helps others find support and hope after betrayal. 💬 Please comment - We'd love to hear what you took away from this podcast. 🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com ) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

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