Episode #34
Breaking the Control: Nomz Bistline on FLDS, The False Prophet & Reclaiming Her Life
Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!! ⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING: This episode discusses religious trauma, coercive control, sexual and physical abuse, child exploitation, threats of violence and murder, incarceration, suicide attempts, suicidal thoughts, and death. What does it take to survive when fear, religion, manipulation, and coercive control have shaped nearly everything you believe? In this episode of Beyond Mommy Dearest , I sit down with Nomz Bistline , featured in The False Prophet , for a raw conversation about growing up in the FLDS, becoming entangled in Samuel Bateman’s group, surviving extreme coercive control, spending 21 months in prison, and ultimately beginning to find herself again. Nomz takes us behind what viewers saw in the documentary and explains how years of religious conditioning made threats of punishment and damnation terrifyingly real. She shares how manipulation, fear, intermittent kindness, threats against people she loved, and relentless pressure eventually caused her to become numb and disconnect from her own intuition. We also talk about something far more complicated: how someone can be both accountable for their actions and a victim of profound coercive control. Nomz opens up about incarceration, surviving a suicide attempt, months of suicidal depression, and finally receiving therapy. Surprisingly, prison also gave her something she had rarely experienced before: the freedom to think and feel without being punished for it. During her darkest days, she began writing down ten things she was grateful for. Sometimes the glimmer was simply a bar of soap, clean clothes, a mattress, or a meal. Eventually, she became grateful for something much bigger: awareness. We talk about rebuilding self-trust, grieving family members who remain in the FLDS, learning what healthy love feels like, and why people on the outside often misunderstand survivors who stay, comply with, defend, or return to their abusers. Nomz describes survivors as clay models . Abuse, fear, manipulation, and conditioning can mold someone into what an abuser needs them to become. But underneath those layers is a foundation that was there all along. The real person is still there. And sometimes healing is the process of breaking away that clay, piece by piece, until you finally recognize yourself again. Because Nomz found those tiny glimmers and kept going, she is here. And now we all get to experience her glimmers, too. ❤️ If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or a mental health crisis in the United States, call or text 988 for immediate support. Support the show
