Coaching Your Family Relationships

Is your relationship with your adult child strained, distant, or heading toward estrangement? Do you replay conversations, walk on eggshells, or wonder what you did wrong? Are you dealing with family conflict, difficult adult children, or toxic in-laws — and feeling powerless to fix it? You’re not alone. I’m Tina Gosney, Family Conflict Coach and Family Life Educator. I help parents move from anxiety, overfunctioning, and emotional reactivity to calm, confident connection — even when their adult child won’t change. Grounded in Bowen Family Systems theory and nervous system science, this podcast will help you: 1. Understand why stress spreads through a family system 2. Recognize patterns like overfunctioning, fixing, triangles, and emotional cutoff 3. Stop walking on eggshells 4. Navigate adult child conflict without losing yourself 5. Repair strained relationships with your adult child in a healthy wa

Coaching Your Family Relationships is a society podcast hosted by Tina Gosney, with 227 episodes on record and a Required Pod Score of 80. PitchCentric scores this show on Booking Probability, Listen Score, and live audience signals refreshed every 24 hours.

Tina Gosney hosts Coaching Your Family Relationships, a society show with 227 episodes published.

Our AI reads these to draft pitches. Use them as grounding for a pitch that cites a real guest and a specific topic.

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  Episode #230

  Your Adult Child Calls You a Narcissist: What Are They Really Trying to Say?

  Aug 18, 202635 min

  Send us a message Episode 230: Your Adult Child Calls You a Narcissist: What Are They Really Trying to Say? If your adult child has called you a narcissist or emotionally immature, you may feel hurt, confused, defensive, or unsure what those words actually mean. These terms are showing up more often in conversations about difficult parent-adult child relationships, but they are not interchangeable. Narcissism and emotional immaturity describe very different patterns, and understanding that difference can help you respond more thoughtfully when your adult child uses one of these labels. In this episode, Tina looks at narcissism vs. emotional immaturity through a family systems lens. She explains how these patterns can show up in parent-adult child relationships, why adult children may use these terms to describe painful experiences, and how parents can listen for what is underneath the label without immediately accepting it or rejecting it. You’ll learn: The difference between narcissism and emotional immaturity and why narcissism is a clinical diagnosis while emotional immaturity can describe underdeveloped emotional skills. Why adult children may use words like narcissist or emotionally immature when they are trying to explain their experience, and why these words are not interchangeable and describe two very different things. How to respond when your adult child calls you a narcissist or emotionally immature, especially when your first reaction is defensiveness, shame, or the urge to prove them wrong. How emotional patterns can be passed down through generations, especially when empathy, emotional attunement, self-reflection, and healthy communication were not modeled in your own family. What emotional growth can look like for parents of adult children, including becoming more self-aware, listening without immediately defending yourself, and learning how to stay present during difficult conversations. If you are trying to understand why your adult child sees you as narcissistic or emotionally immature, this episode will help you look beyond the label and focus on the relationship pattern underneath it. You may not agree with the word your adult child is using. But understanding what they are trying to communicate can give you much more useful information about what is happening in your relationship and what you may be able to change. If you know another parent who is struggling with these same questions, share this episode with them. Click Here to download the free guide: 5 Steps to Take Before Trying to Repair the Relationship With Your Adult Child Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection . This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach. Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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  Episode #228

  My Adult Child Says I Traumatized Them: What Should I Do?

  Aug 4, 202630 min

  Ask a question, send us a message, or let us know how you like the podcast Episode 228: My Adult Child Says I Traumatized Them: What Should I Do? When your adult child says you traumatized them, it can feel like a judgment on your entire history as a parent. You may feel confused, defensive, ashamed, angry, or desperate to explain what really happened. But the word trauma does not automatically mean you were an abusive parent or that everything you did was wrong. Your adult child may be trying to describe a painful event, a repeated family pattern, or years of feeling unheard, criticized, emotionally unsafe, or unable to be themselves. In this episode, Tina Gosney explains how to respond when your adult child says they experienced childhood trauma. You will learn how to listen without immediately defending yourself, how to understand the difference between big-T trauma and little-t trauma, and how your own childhood experiences may affect the way you hear your child’s concerns. This episode is for parents who are asking questions such as: “Did I traumatize my child?” “Why does my adult child blame me for their problems?” “What should I say when my adult child criticizes their childhood?” “Can I repair the relationship with my adult child?” “How do I listen without accepting all the blame?” Why you should listen This conversation can become a turning point in your relationship. How you respond may either reinforce your adult child’s belief that their experience does not matter, or show them that you are willing to understand, grow, and create a healthier relationship moving forward. In this episode, you will learn: Why the word trauma feels so painful to parents and why it can trigger guilt, shame, anger, grief, and defensiveness. The difference between big-T trauma and little-t trauma , including how repeated criticism, emotional tension, conflict, or feeling unheard can affect a child over time. What your adult child may actually mean when they say their childhood was traumatic or that you caused emotional harm. What to say when your adult child brings up childhood trauma , including how to acknowledge their experience without immediately arguing, explaining, or taking responsibility for everything. How to begin repairing the parent-adult child relationship through curiosity, emotional steadiness, changed behavior, and a willingness to listen. You do not have to agree with every detail of your adult child’s story in order to take their pain seriously. You also do not have to erase the love, effort, and sacrifices you gave as a parent. The goal is not to decide whose version of the past is correct. The goal is to understand what your adult child is carrying and decide how you want to show up in the relationship now. When one person in a family becomes more grounded, less defensive, and more emotionally steady, the entire family relationship can begin to change. Listen now to learn how to respond when your adult child says you traumatized them, and how this difficult conversation may become an opportunity for healing and relationship repair. If this episode helps you better understand your adult child, share it with another parent who may need support. Click Here to download the free guide: 5 Steps to Take Before Trying to Repair the Relationship with Your Adult Child Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection . This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you. CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach. Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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  Episode #227

  My Adult Child Says I'm Gaslighting Them. What Do I Do?

  Jul 28, 202637 min

  Ask a question, send us a message, or let us know how you like the podcast Episode 227: My Adult Child Says I'm Gaslighting Them. What Do I Do? When your adult child says you are gaslighting them, it can feel like an accusation against your entire character as a parent. You may immediately want to defend yourself, explain what really happened, or prove that your memory is accurate. But when both people are fighting to establish the “correct” version of the past, the conversation often becomes more painful and more disconnected. In this episode, Tina explains what gaslighting actually means, why the term is sometimes used too broadly, and what your adult child may be trying to communicate underneath the accusation. You will learn how to take their experience seriously without agreeing that you intentionally manipulated them or surrendering your own memory of what happened. This episode will help you move out of shame, fear, and defensiveness so you can respond with greater steadiness and curiosity. You will learn: Why being accused of gaslighting can feel like a threat to your identity as a loving parent The difference between deliberate gaslighting and two people remembering the same event differently What your adult child may really mean when they say they feel gaslighted or unheard What to say in the moment instead of defending every detail or shutting down How to acknowledge your adult child’s experience while still holding onto your own perspective You do not have to accept an inaccurate label in order to listen well. You also do not have to prove your child wrong before the relationship can move forward. Two people can love each other deeply and still remember the past differently. What matters most is whether both experiences can be heard without turning the conversation into a battle over who is right. Share this episode with another parent who may be struggling to understand a painful conversation with their adult child. Click Here to download the free guide: 5 Steps to Take Before Trying to Repair the Relationship with Your Adult Child Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection . You’ll get step-by-step relationship lessons, practical tools to calm anxiety and reduce conflict, and live monthly coaching calls to help you stay steady and build real connection with your child—especially when things feel tense. Learn more and join at https://www.courageous-connections.com/bridge-to-connection3 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach. Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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  Episode #226

  My Adult Child Said I was Toxic. What Do I Do With That?

  Jul 21, 202627 min

  Ask a question, send us a message, or let us know how you like the podcast Episode 226: My Adult Child Said I was Toxic. What Do I Do With That? Hearing your adult child describe you, your parenting, or your family as “toxic” can feel like a complete rejection of who you are. You may immediately want to defend yourself, explain your intentions, or prove that their version of the past is wrong. But the way you respond in that moment can either deepen the distance or create an opening for greater understanding. In this episode, Tina explains what your adult child may actually be trying to communicate when they use therapy words like “toxic.” She explores how parents can take their child’s pain seriously without accepting an unfair label or collapsing into guilt and shame. You will learn how to stay grounded during painful conversations, listen for the experience underneath the accusation, and begin rebuilding trust through curiosity, empathy, and consistent behavior. In this episode, you will learn: Why being called a toxic parent feels like an attack on your entire identity What your adult child may mean when they say their childhood or family environment was toxic How defensiveness can unintentionally reinforce the concerns your child is trying to express What to say when you want to understand your adult child without agreeing with every detail How changed behavior, emotional safety, and respectful communication can help repair a strained parent-adult child relationship Being called toxic does not automatically mean you are a bad parent. It may mean there is a painful gap between what you intended and what your adult child experienced. That gap can be explored, understood, and sometimes repaired. You do not have to argue your way out of your child’s pain. You can learn to stay steady, ask better questions, acknowledge the impact, and allow your actions over time to show that the relationship can become different. Share this episode with another parent of an adult child who is struggling with family conflict, emotional distance, estrangement, or painful accusations and needs help knowing how to respond. Click Here to download the free guide: 5 Steps to Take Before Trying to Repair the Relationship with Your Adult Child Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection . You’ll get step-by-step relationship lessons, practical tools to calm anxiety and reduce conflict, and live monthly coaching calls to help you stay steady and build real connection with your child—especially when things feel tense. Learn more and join at https://www.courageous-connections.com/bridge-to-connection3 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach. Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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  Episode #225

  What Does It Mean When Your Adult Child Says You Don’t Respect Their Boundaries?

  Jul 14, 202628 min

  Ask a question, send us a message, or let us know how you like the podcast Episode 225: What Does It Mean When Your Adult Child Says You Don’t Respect Their Boundaries? Has your adult child ever told you that you crossed a boundary or that you do not respect their boundaries and left you feeling confused, hurt, or defensive? Many parents hear the word “boundary” as an accusation. You may wonder how your questions, advice, concern, or attempts to stay involved could be interpreted as disrespectful. You love your child and want a close relationship, so being told that your behavior is creating distance can feel deeply painful. In this episode of Coaching Your Family Relationships , Tina explains what adult children may actually mean when they talk about boundaries. She explores the difference between boundaries, preferences, ultimatums, trust issues, and attempts to control another person. She also explains why therapy language can sometimes be used inaccurately while still pointing to a real relationship concern. You will learn how to respond when your adult child says you crossed a boundary without immediately defending yourself, arguing about their wording, or shutting down the conversation. Tina offers practical communication tools to help parents become more curious, listen for the need underneath the accusation, and rebuild trust through consistent changes. This episode is especially important for parents navigating conflict, emotional distance, family estrangement, or difficult communication with an adult son or daughter. Respecting boundaries does not mean agreeing with everything your child says. It means learning how to take their experience seriously while staying grounded in your own values and emotional maturity. In this episode, you’ll learn: What boundaries with adult children really are and how they differ from preferences, rules, ultimatums, and control. Why your adult child may experience repeated advice, personal questions, unannounced visits, or comments about their choices as boundary violations. How to manage defensiveness and regulate your nervous system before responding to a painful accusation. What to say when your adult child tells you that they do not feel heard, respected, accepted, or emotionally safe. How small, consistent behavior changes can rebuild trust and strengthen the parent and adult child relationship over time. The goal is not to become a perfect parent or accept every interpretation your adult child offers. The goal is to slow down, become curious, and understand what your child may be trying to communicate about the relationship. A conversation about boundaries does not always mean your adult child is rejecting you. It may be an invitation to create a healthier adult relationship built on mutual respect, clearer communication, emotional safety, and trust. Share this episode with a parent who feels confused or hurt by conversations about boundaries with their adult child. Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection . You’ll get step-by-step relationship lessons, practical tools to calm anxiety and reduce conflict, and live monthly coaching calls to help you stay steady and build real connection with your child—especially when things feel tense. Learn more and join at https://www.courageous-connections.com/bridge-to-connection3 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach. Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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