Create The Best Me

We're an age-positive podcast that celebrates the richness of midlife and beyond. Hosted by Carmen Hecox, a seasoned transformational coach, our platform provides an empowering outlook on these transformative years. With a keen focus on perimenopause, menopause, and post-menopause, Carmen brings together thought leaders, authors, artists, and entrepreneurs for candid conversations that inspire and motivate. Each episode is packed with expert insights and practical advice to help you navigate life's challenges and seize opportunities for growth, wellness, and fulfillment. From career transitions and personal development to health, beauty, and relationships, "Create The Best Me" is your guide to thriving in midlife. Tune in and transform your journey into your most exhilarating adventure yet.

Create The Best Me is a education podcast hosted by Carmen Hecox, with 174 episodes on record and a Required Pod Score of 80.

Carmen Hecox hosts Create The Best Me, a education show with 174 episodes published.

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  Episode #184

  Why You Don’t Feel Like Yourself—Even When Life Looks Fine

  Sep 24, 202619 min

  Does your life look fine from the outside, but you quietly feel disconnected from it? In this episode of Create The Best Me , I explore why that feeling can surface in midlife and walk you through a simple exercise to help you recognize what still fits—and what may need your attention. You may still be handling responsibilities, showing up for the people who depend on you, getting things done, and keeping everything moving. So why does part of you keep wondering: Why doesn’t this feel like my life anymore? Midlife can bring several transitions at once. Children grow up. Parents age. Bodies change. Careers shift. Relationships enter new seasons. Friendships change. Responsibilities increase. And sometimes the identities and roles that once made complete sense no longer answer the question: Who am I now? I explore what can happen when temporary sacrifices quietly become a permanent way of living—when you become so good at meeting everyone else’s needs that your own preferences, interests, and desires become difficult to recognize. But wanting something different does not make you ungrateful. You can appreciate the life you’ve built and still recognize that parts of it need attention. Sometimes your discomfort is asking for evolution, not destruction . The Alive, Heavy, Empty Exercise During the episode, I guide you through a simple three-column reflection. Alive: What makes you feel most like yourself? Heavy: What repeatedly drains you or creates resistance, resentment, tension, or dread? Empty: What parts of your life aren’t necessarily bad but no longer seem to give anything back? The exercise isn’t about immediately eliminating everything in the Heavy or Empty columns. It’s about noticing. Then ask yourself: How much room does the woman in my Alive column actually get in my week? You don’t need to know exactly who you’re becoming yet. You simply need to begin paying attention to what matters to you now. Music by: Epidemic Sound Call to Action: Try This for the Next Seven Days Notice: When do I feel most like myself? When do I feel like I’m performing a version of myself? What do I keep thinking about changing? Write down your answers. You don’t have to make a giant decision. Start by noticing the patterns. For more information and resources from this episode, click the links below. In the next episode, I will explore how to decide what stays, what needs to change, what needs a boundary, what deserves more attention, and what may finally be ready to end. Resources: https://createthebestme.com/ep184 Related Episode : Listen to this next: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1949561/episodes/19745777 #MidlifeWomen #FindingYourself #MidlifeTransformation #SelfDiscovery #CreateTheBestMe Newsletter: https://createthebestme.com/newsletter/ Connect With Me: Website: https://createthebestme.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/createthebestme Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carmenhecox/ TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@carmenhecox YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@createthebestme LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/carmen-hecox ️ Video Request : https://forms.office.com/r/LvLV1AsBfv

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  Episode #181

  Why Rest Isn’t Fixing Your Midlife Burnout

  Sep 3, 202652 min

  You can be getting everything done and still be burned out. For many high-achieving women, burnout does not look like falling apart. It looks like continuing to work, care for other people, meet expectations, and handle responsibilities while feeling emotionally numb, mentally foggy, or disconnected inside. And when you finally stop to rest, you may discover that rest does not make you feel restored. In this episode, I sit down with transformational coach, author, and speaker Laura Cardwell to talk about functional freeze and what may be happening when your nervous system has been under pressure for too long. Laura explains the difference between ordinary stress and burnout, why productive women can miss the warning signs, and how perfectionism, people-pleasing, and over-responsibility can train us to ignore our limits. We also explore why midlife can change what our bodies are willing or able to tolerate. The strategies that once helped us push through may no longer work, and that does not mean we are becoming weak or losing our edge. Laura introduces the idea of “tough care,” which goes beyond temporary self-care. Tough care may involve setting a boundary, changing an expectation, asking someone else to participate, or restructuring a part of life that continually drains your capacity. During this conversation, we discuss: • What functional freeze looks like when you are still productive • Why burnout can leave you feeling numb or disconnected • Why rest alone may not calm an overwhelmed nervous system • How perfectionism and people-pleasing contribute to depletion • Why midlife may make the nervous system more sensitive • The difference between temporary self-care and structural “tough care” • Small practices that can help communicate safety to the body • How to reconnect with purpose when you feel emotionally flat This conversation is an important reminder that you are not lazy, broken, or failing because you cannot continue carrying everything in the same way. Your body may not be betraying you. It may finally be refusing to participate in a life that is asking too much from you. ABOUT LAURA CARDWELL Laura Cardwell is a transformational coach, author, and neuroscience-informed speaker who helps women in midlife recover from burnout, reconnect with themselves, and create lives that reflect who they are becoming. She co-authored Unstuck Yourself: Thrive Beyond Burnout & Discover Your True Purpose. Music by: Epidemic Sound Call to Action: If this conversation helped you understand what your body may be communicating, please share it with another woman who keeps saying, “I’m fine. I’m just tired.” Subscribe for honest conversations about navigating change, rebuilding confidence, reconnecting with yourself, and creating a fulfilling next chapter. Resources: https://createthebestme.com/ep181 Initiation Code Quiz: https://initiationcodes.lauracardwell.com/ https://lauracardwell.com Related Episode : Listen to this episode next: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1949561/episodes/18220882 #MidlifeBurnout #FunctionalFreeze #NervousSystemRegulation #WomenOver40 #BurnoutRecovery #LauraCardwell #CreateTheBestMe Newsletter: https://createthebestme.com/newsletter/ Connect With Me: Website: https://createthebestme.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/createthebestme Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carmenhecox/ TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@carmenhecox YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@createthebestme LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/carmen-hecox ️ Video Request : https://forms.office.com/r/LvLV1AsBfv

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  Episode #179

  Stop Waiting to Lose Weight Before You Start Living

  Aug 20, 202654 min

  Have you ever told yourself that you would take the photo, attend the event, wear what you wanted, or become more visible after losing weight? That belief can quietly place years of your life on hold. In this episode, I’m joined by body image expert and certified intuitive eating counselor Anne Poirier for an honest conversation about body shame, food guilt, negative self-talk, and the “when I, then I” bargain so many women make with themselves. Anne explains how early labels and comments about our bodies can become part of our identity. We explore how the inner critic grows louder over time, why emotional eating is often connected to feelings we do not want to experience, and how midlife body changes can intensify the feeling that we are failing. We also talk about a more realistic alternative to forcing yourself to love every part of your body. Through body neutrality, appreciation, curiosity, and compassion, you can begin separating who you are from what you weigh. In this conversation, you’ll learn: Why body shame often begins much earlier than we realize How labels can shape identity and self-confidence What the “when I, then I” mindset costs us How food rules can create guilt and emotional eating Why your changing midlife body may require a new perspective How to interrupt automatic negative thoughts Why your worth is not connected to a number or size You do not have to wait for a different body before allowing yourself to be seen or fully participating in your life. Music by: Epidemic Sound Call to Action: For Anne’s books, free Body Competence resource, and everything mentioned in this episode, click the links below. After listening, ask yourself: What have I been postponing while waiting for my body to change? Please follow or subscribe to Create The Best Me , share this episode with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help more women in midlife find these conversations. Resources: https://createthebestme.com/ep179 Free resource: The Body Competence Unlocked https://shapingperspectives.com/confidence/ https://shapingperspectives.com/ https://linktr.ee/annepoirier11 Related Episode : Listen to this episode next: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1949561/episodes/16187066 ⚖️ Disclaimer: This conversation is educational and is not intended to replace medical, nutritional, or mental-health care. #BodyNeutrality #MidlifeWomen #BodyImage #SelfWorth #IntuitiveEating #CreateTheBestMe #AnnePoirier Newsletter: https://createthebestme.com/newsletter/ Connect With Me: Website: https://createthebestme.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/createthebestme Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carmenhecox/ TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@carmenhecox YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@createthebestme LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/carmen-hecox ️ Video Request : https://forms.office.com/r/LvLV1AsBfv

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  Episode #177

  Why Weight Regain Happens After GLP-1’s or Bariatric Surgery

  Aug 6, 202657 min

  What happens when the surgery, medication, or number on the scale does not create the lasting change you expected? In this episode, I’m joined by Shenelle Green, founder of Bariatric Rewrite, for an honest conversation about weight regain, food noise, sugar cravings, emotional eating, and the realities many people are never prepared for after bariatric surgery or while taking a GLP-1 medication. Shenelle shares how getting sober in 2020 eventually led to bariatric surgery and why changing her stomach did not automatically change her relationship with food. When her hunger returned seven months after surgery, she began looking more closely at the protein products, artificial sweeteners, ultra-processed foods, habits, and emotional patterns influencing her choices. We discuss why bariatric surgery and GLP-1 medications are not the easy way out, why some people continue struggling even after significant weight loss, and how unresolved stress, resentment, fear, and shame can keep the cycle going. Shenelle also shares the unforgettable story of the hot pink couch she believed would finally make her feel satisfied. Instead, it helped her recognize that no purchase, relationship, business achievement, or number on the scale could fill what she was trying to resolve internally. We also explore menopause and weight gain, transfer addiction, whole-food protein, accountability without shame, GLP-1 plateaus, and why lasting change often begins with one small, consistent decision. This conversation is for anyone who has ever reached a goal and quietly wondered, “Why don’t I feel different?” Music by: Epidemic Sound Call to Action: Have you ever reached a goal and realized it did not fix what you thought it would? Share your experience in the comments. Your story may help someone else feel less alone. Resources: https://createthebestme.com/ep177 https://bariatricrewrite.com/ Join Bariatric Rewrite Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/bariatricrewrite Related Episodes : Listen to these episodes next: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1949561/episodes/19069119 https://www.buzzsprout.com/1949561/episodes/18438445 ⚖️ Disclaimer: IMPORTANT: This episode contains personal experiences, opinions, and coaching perspectives and is intended for educational purposes only. It is not medical, nutritional, or mental health advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional before changing your medication, dosage, nutrition plan, or treatment. #GLP1 #BariatricSurgery #WeightRegain #FoodNoise #MidlifeWomen #BariatricRewrite #CreateTheBestMe Newsletter: https://createthebestme.com/newsletter/ Connect With Me: Website: https://createthebestme.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/createthebestme Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carmenhecox/ TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@carmenhecox YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@createthebestme LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/carmen-hecox ️ Video Request : https://forms.office.com/r/LvLV1AsBfv

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  Episode #175

  Why Survival Mode Leaves You Emotionally Disconnected

  Jul 23, 202652 min

  You can do everything right, hold everyone and everything together, and still wonder why you feel so far away from yourself. In this episode, I sit down with psychotherapist, licensed marriage and family therapist, certified sex therapist, and sexuality educator Todd Malloy to explore why high-achieving women can remain in survival mode long after the original danger or hardship has passed. Todd explains how unresolved childhood wounds, emotional neglect, imposter syndrome, and family-of-origin patterns can follow us into adulthood. These experiences can affect how we value ourselves, communicate with our partners, respond to conflict, and experience emotional and physical intimacy. We discuss why women often remain silent about what they need, how resentment builds when difficult conversations are repeatedly avoided, and why your partner cannot understand your experience unless you learn to communicate it clearly. Todd also introduces the “soft start,” a more thoughtful way to begin difficult conversations without immediately creating defensiveness. He shares how asking for clarity, listening to what was actually said, and stating the positive intention behind a conversation can help couples move from reacting to genuinely connecting. You’ll also hear a powerful story about a woman who confronted the wounds of her childhood, stopped abandoning herself, established boundaries, and created an entirely different life. Her transformation offers an important reminder that the life you live does not only affect you. It also teaches your children what they should accept, expect, and believe is possible. Todd leaves you with three places to begin: tell yourself the truth, understand your why, and question whether the standards you have been living by reflect your authentic values or someone else’s expectations. You may have become exceptionally good at surviving, but you are still allowed to choose honesty, connection, self-worth, and a life worth celebrating. Music by: Epidemic Sound Call to Action: What part of this conversation felt most familiar to you? Share your thoughts in the comments. Subscribe to Create The Best Me for weekly conversations that help women in midlife reconnect with themselves, navigate change, and create lives that feel meaningful and fulfilling. Resources: https://createthebestme.com/ep175 https://toddmalloy.com/ Related Episodes : Listen to these episodes next: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1949561/episodes/18793435 https://www.buzzsprout.com/1949561/episodes/18628192 https://www.buzzsprout.com/1949561/episodes/18550342 #SurvivalMode #MidlifeWomen #EmotionalIntimacy #EmotionalDisconnection #MidlifeRelationships #RelationshipCommunication #SelfWorth #WomenOver40 #ToddMalloy #CreateTheBestMe Newsletter: https://createthebestme.com/newsletter/ Connect With Me: Website: https://createthebestme.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/createthebestme Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carmenhecox/ TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@carmenhecox YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@createthebestme LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/carmen-hecox ️ Video Request : https://forms.office.com/r/LvLV1AsBfv

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