Find Your Freaks

Ever felt too weird, too loud, too soft, too real — or just too complicated to belong? This podcast is your proof that you’re not alone. Find Your Freaks features raw, unfiltered conversations with people who are building belonging in unexpected places — and doing it by showing up exactly as they are. Hosted by community strategist Tonya Kubo, this show digs into the messy, beautiful truth of what it takes to find your people. New episodes on Thursdays starting June 2025. Come for the stories. Stay for the humanity. And if something hits home? Tell your weirdest friend and visit Ever felt too weird, too loud, too soft, too real — or just too complicated to belong? This podcast is your proof that you’re not alone. Find Your Freaks features raw, unfiltered conversations with people who are building belonging in unexpected places — and doing it by showing up exactly as they are. Hosted by community strategist Tonya Kubo, this show digs into the messy, beautiful truth of what it takes to find your people. New episodes on Thursdays starting June 2025. Come for the stories. Stay for the humanity. And if something hits home? Tell your weirdest friend and visit https://findyourfreaks.com/

Find Your Freaks is a business podcast hosted by Unknown Host, with 34 episodes on record and a Required Pod Score of 80.

Unknown Host hosts Find Your Freaks, a business show with 34 episodes published.

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  Episode #33

  033 - The People Who Hold Everyone Else Together

  Sep 17, 202624 min

  Why boundaries don’t weaken communities. They strengthen them. Every community has someone who seems to hold everything together. They solve the problems. Remember what everyone else forgets. Step in when something falls through the cracks. And because they are capable, everyone keeps letting them. But what happens when one person becomes responsible for everyone else? In this solo episode of Find Your Freaks , Tonya Kubo reflects on her conversation with clergy coach Margaret Marcuson and why the lessons from sustainable ministry apply far beyond pastors. From teachers and healthcare workers to managers, parents, nonprofit leaders, caregivers, and the friend everyone calls in a crisis, Tonya explores what happens when being “the strong one” becomes an expectation. She shares why burnout cannot always be solved with another productivity system, how over-functioning can unintentionally teach the people around us to under-function, and why doing everything ourselves may actually prevent someone else from discovering what they are capable of doing. If you are always the person people depend on, or if you rely on someone who seems capable of handling everything, this episode asks an important question: What are you carrying that was never yours to carry in the first place? You’ll hear how: Margaret Marcuson’s lessons about sustainable ministry apply far beyond pastors High-burnout professions often require people to carry struggles they cannot safely discuss publicly Burnout is not always a productivity problem Boundaries ask a different question than productivity: What is actually yours to carry? Our willingness to carry everything can teach other people that they do not have to carry anything Over-functioning can create under-functioning throughout an entire system Stepping back can give someone else the opportunity to discover what they are capable of doing Healthy communities share responsibility instead of depending on one person to make all the sacrifices The invisible labor behind belonging needs to be sustainable too Episode Highlights [01:30] Why Margaret Marcuson’s lessons about sustainable ministry apply far beyond pastors [05:30] The struggles people in high-burnout professions cannot always talk about publicly [09:00] Why burnout may be a boundaries problem instead of a productivity problem [12:00] Boundaries, shared responsibility, and what happens when one person stops carrying everything [14:00] How doing everything can unintentionally teach other people not to step up [18:00] Why over-functioning creates under-functioning in the systems around us [21:00] Giving the strong people in our lives permission to be human and asking what was never ours to carry Resources & Mentions Sustainable Ministry: How to Lead and When to Nap by Margaret Marcuson Episode 032 : Why Pastors Stay (and Why It Matters That They Do) with Margaret Marcuson Meet Your Host Tonya Kubo is a community strategist, writer, and rebel with a cause: helping people find the place where they truly belong. She’s spent nearly two decades building online spaces that feel more like chosen family than comment sections, and she’s not afraid to call out the fluff in favor of real connection. As the founder of Find Your Freaks, Tonya brings together unconventional thinkers, builders, and bridge-makers who believe that “normal” was never the point. When she’s not hosting the show, she’s raising two daughters, leading client communities, and making meaning out of the mess. Support the Show If Find Your Freaks matters to you, help us keep it ad-free by buying us a coffee (or two!) . Every dollar goes to production so more weirdos can find their people. You can purchase Find Your Freaks merchandise online through Abilities and Attitudes. Let’s Stay Freaky Facebook Group LinkedIn Instagram Podcast Hub What’s Next Next episode, Tonya talks with Danielle Tidwell, owner of The Tipsy Hellcat LLC, about what happens when the community you need doesn’t exist yet. Danielle is building the Hellcat Bridal Collective to connect alternative couples and vendors who are ready to stop searching for a seat at someone else’s table and create their own.

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  Episode #32

  032 – Why Pastors Stay (and Why It Matters That They Do) with Margaret Marcuson

  Sep 3, 202632 min

  Why sustainable ministry starts with knowing what is yours to carry Pastors are called to care for people. But that does not mean they are called to carry everything. In this episode of Find Your Freaks , Tonya Kubo sits down with clergy coach, American Baptist minister, and author Margaret Marcuson to talk about what it takes for pastors and ministry leaders to stay in their work without losing themselves in the process. Margaret has spent more than two decades helping pastors become less burdened in ministry. She shares why over-responsibility is so common among leaders, how expectations from congregations and family patterns can reinforce it, and why setting limits is about more than time management. It requires clarity about your role, your responsibility, and your call. Together, Tonya and Margaret explore what happens when pastors step back, why guilt does not always mean you are making the wrong choice, and how taking less responsibility can create space for other people to grow. If you have ever felt responsible for keeping everything and everyone together, this conversation is a reminder that doing your part does not mean doing it all. You’ll hear how: Pastors are navigating financial pressure, political polarization, changing churches, and the everyday emotional demands of ministry Sustainable leadership requires clarity of call and self-management, not simply better time management Taking responsibility for everything can prevent other people from learning what they are capable of doing Family patterns and expectations can shape how leaders relate to responsibility Guilt can show up when you set a healthy boundary without meaning the boundary is wrong Intentional rest creates space to be free from responsibility before exhaustion forces you to stop Healthy churches make room for connection, differing perspectives, and leadership that is not centered entirely on the pastor Pastors can begin creating sustainable ministry by protecting time off, staying connected to healthy people, and learning to “keep calm-ish” Leaving one church does not necessarily mean leaving ministry, and leaving ministry does not mean you have failed your calling Episode Highlights [01:30] What pastors and ministry leaders are carrying right now [06:50] Why sustainable ministry requires self-management and clarity of call [10:30] Taking the church off your back and letting go of the outcome [14:10] Why over-responsibility can become part of a leader’s identity [17:30] False guilt and what happens when you finally step back [21:10] Why naps, rest, and turning off notifications belong in sustainable ministry [25:00] Is church still worth it and what makes a church healthy? [28:20] Three small ways pastors can make ministry more sustainable [30:00] What to consider when you are thinking about leaving ministry Resources & Mentions Sustainable Ministry: How to Lead and When to Nap by Margaret Marcuson Leaders Who Last by Margaret Marcuson Margaret Marcuson’s clergy coaching Meet Our Guest Margaret Marcuson is a clergy coach, American Baptist minister, and author who has spent more than two decades helping pastors and ministry leaders develop sustainable approaches to leadership. After serving as a pastor herself for about 15 years, Margaret began coaching clergy to lead with greater freedom, clarity, and less over-responsibility. Her latest book, Sustainable Ministry: How to Lead and When to Nap , explores how pastors can take responsibility for themselves within the systems they serve without carrying the entire church on their backs. Meet Your Host Tonya Kubo is a community strategist, writer, and rebel with a cause: helping people find the place where they truly belong. She’s spent nearly two decades building online spaces that feel more like chosen family than comment sections, and she’s not afraid to call out the fluff in favor of real connection. As the founder of Find Your Freaks, Tonya brings together unconventional thinkers, builders, and bridge-makers who believe that “normal” was never the point. When she’s not hosting the show, she’s raising two daughters, leading client communities, and making meaning out of the mess. Support the Show If Find Your Freaks matters to you, help us keep it ad-free by buying us a coffee (or two!) . Every dollar goes to production so more weirdos can find their people. You can purchase Find Your Freaks merchandise online through Abilities and Attitudes. Let’s Stay Freaky Facebook Group LinkedIn Instagram Podcast Hub What’s Next Next episode, Tonya reflects on how Margaret’s perspective applies far beyond pastors to anyone expected to hold other people together. What does it cost to become everyone else’s emotional safety net?

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  Episode #31

  031 – Who Should You Trust When You're New to Homeschooling?

  Aug 20, 202633 min

  Why lived experience matters when everyone online sounds like an expert The internet is great at surfacing ideas. What it doesn’t do well is tell you which ideas have held up over time. Algorithms reward certainty, simple answers, and quick wins, making it increasingly difficult to distinguish between people who sound like experts and those who have earned their perspective through years of experience. In this solo episode, Tonya Kubo reflects on her conversation with Jen Mackinnon and shares how it came full circle when she unexpectedly began homeschooling her 12-year-old this spring. Returning to the homeschool world reminded Tonya that what worked for one child, season, or family may not work for another. It also revealed how challenging it can be for newer homeschool families to find advice from people who have already made it through the hard years. Building on that realization, Tonya explores why experienced people rarely speak in absolutes. They say “it depends,” ask for more context, and openly acknowledge when their opinions have changed. That isn’t a lack of confidence. It’s the perspective that comes from trying different approaches, making mistakes, navigating burnout, and discovering that some lessons can only be learned through time. Tonya also shares the story behind Been There, Homeschooled That , a free online summit for families in their first three years of homeschooling. She isn’t hosting the summit because she considers herself a homeschool expert. She’s hosting it because she’s an experienced community builder who knows how to find remarkable people, vet real experience, and create spaces where different perspectives can coexist. Every speaker has launched at least one homeschooled child into adulthood because newer homeschoolers don’t need one perfect answer. They need experienced people who can help them ask better questions and find the answers that work for their families. You’ll hear how: The internet rewards confidence more often than experience or proven success Algorithms associate certainty, simple language, and named frameworks with authority Experienced people say “it depends” because they understand the importance of context Changing your mind can be a sign of earned wisdom rather than inconsistency What works for one child, family, or season of homeschooling may not work for another There is no single curriculum, routine, or philosophy that works for every homeschool family Community matters when one space only recognizes part of your identity or circumstances Perfection is not the goal when choosing curriculum or building a homeschool routine Some lessons about burnout, adolescence, and launching children can only be learned through time Been There, Homeschooled That connects newer families with veteran homeschoolers who have lived through the hard years Episode Highlights [01:15] How Tonya unexpectedly found herself homeschooling again [03:00] Who do you trust when everyone online sounds like an expert? [03:50] Why the internet rewards confidence more than experience [08:40] What experienced people mean when they say “it depends” [13:30] The conversation that inspired a summit for homeschool “dinosaurs” [16:35] Why there is no single right way to homeschool [22:30] Why newer homeschoolers need guidance from people who have survived the hard years [26:30] The story and purpose behind Been There, Homeschooled That Resources & Mentions Been There, Homeschooled That – Register for the free online summit taking place September 1–3, 2026, with recordings available through September 8 Episode 030 – The Hidden Life of Working Homeschool Moms with Jen Mackinnon Practical by Defaul t – Practical resources and support for working homeschool moms Working Homeschool Mom Club – Jen Mackinnon’s free community for moms balancing work and homeschooling Meet Your Host Tonya Kubo is a community strategist, marketing consultant, and rebel with a cause: helping people find the place where they truly belong. For nearly two decades, she’s built online spaces that feel less like comment sections and more like chosen family. She’s the fixer you call when your Facebook group has gone straight-up Lord of the Flies and the bouncer at the door of internet nonsense. As the host of Find Your Freaks, Tonya brings together unconventional thinkers and bridge-builders who know “normal” was never the point. Her favorite spaces? The ones where the freak flags fly high. Support the Show If Find Your Freaks matters to you, help us keep it ad-free by buying us a coffee (or two!) . Every dollar goes to production so more weirdos can find their people. You can purchase Find Your Freaks merchandise online through Abilities and Attitudes. Let’s Stay Freaky Facebook Group LinkedIn Instagram Podcast Hub What’s Next Next time, Tonya talks with clergy coach and author Margaret Marcuson about sustainable ministry, clergy burnout, and what happens when the people holding communities together can no longer hold themselves together.

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  Episode #29

  029 – You're Not Lonely Because You're Alone

  Jul 23, 202627 min

  Why belonging is built through alignment, not proximity Most people think loneliness is a math problem. More friends. More invitations. A busier social calendar. But what if loneliness has nothing to do with how many people surround you? What if it's actually about whether the people around you understand who you are? In this solo episode, Tonya Kubo reflects on her conversation with Alicia Shidler and unpacks one of the biggest misconceptions about belonging: that proximity creates connection. Alicia's story of leaving California for rural Michigan demonstrates that being physically close to people isn't the same as feeling known. Instead, belonging comes from finding people who share your values, understand your priorities, and make space for you to be fully yourself. Building on that conversation, Tonya explores how intentional living often challenges the expectations of others. Whether it's choosing a different lifestyle, raising a family differently, or pursuing goals that don't make sense to the people around you, living in alignment with your values can feel lonely at first. But that discomfort often becomes the pathway to finding the people who truly understand you. Tonya also examines the role community plays in that journey—both online and offline. Drawing from Alicia's experiences navigating homesteading groups and her own work as a community strategist, she explains why healthy communities aren't defined by their size but by their purpose, consistency, and ability to make people feel safe enough to participate. Because belonging isn't about collecting people. It's about finding the ones who feel like home. You’ll hear how: Loneliness is more about alignment than physical proximity Feeling understood creates deeper belonging than simply being included Intentional living often challenges the expectations of others Online communities can become powerful places to build meaningful connection In-person and online communities each serve different but equally valuable purposes Strong community leadership creates trust through consistency and accountability Silent members are often paying the closest attention before they choose to engage Clear purpose and healthy moderation help communities thrive Authenticity helps you recognize the people who truly understand you Belonging begins when you stop trying to fit in and start living in alignment with your values Episode Highlights [01:12] Why loneliness isn't simply a numbers problem [04:05] Alicia's move to Michigan and how alignment replaced proximity [07:50] What Tonya's front yard garden revealed about other people's assumptions [11:40] Why intentional living often makes others uncomfortable [15:05] Online communities aren't a consolation prize—they're often where belonging begins [18:45] What healthy communities do differently to create trust and safety [22:15] Why silent community members may be paying the closest attention [25:20] Finding your people by living authentically Resources & Mentions Episode 028 – What If It's Not Normal… But It Works? with Alicia Shidler Sustaining Humanity by Phil McKay Meet Your Host Tonya Kubo is a community strategist, marketing consultant, and rebel with a cause: helping people find the place where they truly belong. For nearly two decades, she’s built online spaces that feel less like comment sections and more like chosen family. She’s the fixer you call when your Facebook group has gone straight-up Lord of the Flies and the bouncer at the door of internet nonsense. As the host of Find Your Freaks, Tonya brings together unconventional thinkers and bridge-builders who know “normal” was never the point. Her favorite spaces? The ones where the freak flags fly high. Support the Show If Find Your Freaks matters to you, help us keep it ad-free by buying us a coffee (or two!) . Every dollar goes to production so more weirdos can find their people. You can purchase Find Your Freaks merchandise online through Abilities and Attitudes. Let’s Stay Freaky Facebook Group LinkedIn Instagram Podcast Hub What’s Next Next time, Tonya sits down with Jen Mackinnon to explore what it means to belong in two worlds at once. Together, they unpack the unique challenges of balancing career and homeschooling, building community at the intersection of both, and why choosing a practical path doesn't mean settling for less—it means creating a life that works for your family.

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  Episode #28

  028 – What If It's Not Normal… But It Works? with Alicia Shidler

  Jul 9, 202644 min

  Why choosing an unconventional life often means finding the courage to belong anyway There comes a moment when you realize that "normal" isn't actually the same thing as "right." Maybe it's reading ingredient labels for the first time. Maybe it's questioning a habit you've never thought twice about. Or maybe it's making a small decision that slowly changes the way you live your entire life. In this episode of Find Your Freaks , Tonya Kubo sits down with Alicia Shidler to talk about what happens after you stop chasing normal. From food and homesteading to parenting, community, and personal conviction, Alicia shares how one simple question— "What if there's a better way?" —led to a life that looks very different from the one she expected. Their conversation isn't really about tallow, sourdough, or raising chickens. It's about what it feels like to make choices that don't fit neatly into other people's expectations. It's about navigating the tension between staying true to your values and wanting to belong in the communities around you. And it's about discovering that living intentionally will almost always look a little strange to someone else. Whether you've questioned what's in your food, chosen a path your friends don't understand, or simply wondered if you're the only one doing life differently, this episode is a reminder that belonging doesn't require becoming more "normal." Sometimes it means becoming more yourself. You'll hear how: One small question can completely reshape the way you live Intentional living happens one decision at a time, not all at once Curiosity is more sustainable than fear when making lifestyle changes Community becomes more complicated when your values look different Online communities can be places to quietly learn before speaking up You don't have to convince everyone else to validate your choices Modeling your values is often more powerful than arguing for them Living differently doesn't have to mean living defensively Belonging is possible even when your life looks unconventional Episode Highlights [00:00] The marshmallow moment that started questioning "normal" [04:30] Building a family that spans very different seasons of life [11:45] Why intentional living happens one choice at a time [19:10] What online communities taught Alicia before she ever spoke up [26:00] Behind the scenes of moderating large Facebook communities [35:35] Belonging when your version of "normal" looks different [39:50] Why you can't force people to change—you can only show them Resources & Mentions Shidler Goods Hope & Stay by Sonya Tucker Meet Your Guest Alicia Shidler is the founder of Shidler Goods, a Michigan-based small business specializing in handcrafted tallow body care products. Passionate about intentional living, Alicia enjoys baking gluten-free sourdough, caring for livestock, reading ingredient labels, and continually learning how small, thoughtful choices can lead to a healthier and more purposeful life. Through her business and everyday life, she encourages others to question what "normal" means and embrace the practices that align with their values. Meet Your Host Tonya Kubo is a community strategist, writer, and rebel with a cause: helping people find the place where they truly belong. She's spent nearly two decades building online spaces that feel more like chosen family than comment sections, and she's not afraid to call out the fluff in favor of real connection. As the founder of Find Your Freaks , Tonya brings together unconventional thinkers, builders, and bridge-makers who believe that "normal" was never the point. When she's not hosting the show, she's raising two daughters, leading client communities, and making meaning out of the mess. Support the Show If Find Your Freaks matters to you, help us keep it ad-free by buying us a coffee (or two!) . Every dollar goes to production so more weirdos can find their people. You can purchase Find Your Freaks merchandise online through Abilities and Attitudes. Let's Stay Freaky Facebook Group LinkedIn Instagram Podcast Hub What's Next Next time, Tonya explores why communities often mistake "the right way" for "the only way"—and how belonging begins when we make room for people whose paths look different from our own.

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