Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

Tired of hearing “just put yourself out there” when it comes to friendship or community? Same. Friendship IRL is the podcast that skips the fluff and gets real about what it takes to build meaningful adult friendships and lasting support systems. Whether you're struggling to make new friends, maintain old ones, or just want people in your life who really show up , you're in the right place. Each week, host Alex Alexander brings you honest conversations and tangible strategies to help you connect— for real . You’ll hear stories from everyday people (plus the occasional expert), learn what’s working in modern friendships—and what definitely isn’t—and walk away with ideas, scripts, and action steps you can actually use. Think of it like a coffee date with your wisest, most encouraging friend—the one who tells the truth and hands you the playbook. 🎧 New episodes drop every Thursday. 💬 Want to share your frie

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes is a society podcast hosted by Alex Alexander, with 191 episodes on record and a Required Pod Score of 80. PitchCentric scores this show on Booking Probability, Listen Score, and live audience signals refreshed every 24 hours.

Alex Alexander hosts Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes, a society show with 191 episodes published.

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  Episode #190

  The Urge to Tell Your Life Story on the First Friend Date (And What to Do Instead)

  Aug 13, 202628 min

  Have you ever come home from hanging out with a new friend and you spiral, wondering if you shared too much or scared them off? I call this a new friend hangover. And in today’s episode, I want to talk about what happens when we rush into new friendships, especially when we are really, really hungry for connection. So much of adult friendship advice tells us to open up, be vulnerable, share more, and let people in. I don’t think that advice is wrong, exactly. I just think it’s incomplete. The coffee dates, the shared activities, the silly moments, the tiny details you notice about each other are all part of your friendship origin story, which is where a lot of roots start to grow. In this episode you’ll hear about: How being hungry for connection can make us try to fast-forward a friendship before it has roots Why anxious “new friend hangovers” can show up after a hangout you were excited about Why taking pottery classes and sharing recipes can create small intimacies How to think about sharing from a scar instead of a wound when a friendship is still new Resources & Links Episode 12: Digging Into the 3 Types of Friendship Roots Episode 74: The Power of Vulnerability In Small Doses Episode 100: How To Use the Wheel of Connection to Strengthen Your Support System Like what you hear? Visit my website , leave me a voicemail , and follow me on Instagram and TikTok! Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out! WANT MORE? My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today! Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.

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  Episode #189

  What to Say When Someone You Love Is Grieving with Shelby Forsythia

  Aug 6, 20261h 12m

  This episode will completely change how you show up for the people in your life when they are grieving or going through something. Most of us have heard the advice about what to do when someone is grieving: bring the meal, send the gift card, walk the dog, take the kids, run the errand. And those things matter, but knowing what to say is where a lot of us panic. Today I’m talking to Shelby Forsythia, a grief coach, author, and podcast host whose book, Of Course, I’m Here Right Now , gives us actual words to say when we don’t know what to say. After years of working with grievers, Shelby started noticing that people were often telling themselves three stories: I’m crazy, I’m alone, and my life is going to feel like this forever. So she built three phrases to meet those stories. In this episode, we talk about why hurtful words can fracture relationships after loss, why disappearing can be just as painful, and how the right words can help someone feel seen, believed, and less alone inside what they are carrying. In this episode you’ll hear about: Why Shelby believes words are one of the most accessible grief support tools we have The 3 phrases that don’t “fix”, bright-side, or rush someone through grief How someone can be physically present in a friendship but still emotionally vanish from the part of someone that is grieving The importance of sitting with someone in their “grief house” without trying to drag them into hope Resources & Links Learn more about Shelby on her website , and check out her book, Of Course, I’m Here Right Now . Shelby also references the book, There Is No Good Card For This by Kelsey Crowe and Emily McDowell. Episode 172: Unmuted Rooms and Judgment-Free Listening with Erin Snow Like what you hear? Visit my website , leave me a voicemail , and follow me on Instagram and TikTok! Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out! WANT MORE? My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today! Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.

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  Episode #188

  Are Birthdays Doing Too Much Work In Our Friendships?

  Jul 30, 202629 min

  Have you ever caught yourself on your birthday paying a little too much attention to your phone? Noticing who texted, who posted, who sent a voice memo? What about who just “liked” your Instagram story but didn’t actually say anything? Who remembered, who didn’t, and what all of that might mean about how much they care about you. For most of us, birthdays are one of the only times we explicitly tell our friends how much they mean to us. It’s the one day when all the evidence gets collected: did they remember, did they make an effort, did they show up in the way I hoped they would? And if there aren’t many other moments throughout the year where we are saying these things out loud, then of course the birthday starts to feel loaded. So in today’s episode, I’m talking about how we can build a culture inside our friendships where affirmation, appreciation, and “you matter to me” moments are not saved for one day a year. Your birthday can still be special, but it probably shouldn’t have to carry the full weight of proving where you stand in someone’s life. In this episode you’ll hear about: Why birthdays can start to feel like a friendship test, even when nobody wants them to be one Why a birthday text, card, party, or forgotten message can feel so loaded when there is not enough “you matter to me” evidence What story roots have to do with birthday expectations, and why our brains write loud stories about it How voice memos, shared notes, and friendship check-ins can help build a culture of affirmation beyond birthdays Resources & Links Episode 12: Digging Into the 3 Types of Friendship Roots Episode 37: You Don’t Need to Understand People to Accept Them Episode 70: Separating Our Own Friendship Beliefs from Our Children’s with Pam Howard Episode 179: What Is Friendship Culture? (And How to Shift it Without Blowing Everything Up) Like what you hear? Visit my website , leave me a voicemail , and follow me on Instagram and TikTok! Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out! This episode is sponsored by Are We Friends Yet?, Alex’s book on building the support system you’ve been wanting. Buy the book and submit your receipt before July 16th to get The Connector’s Toolkit free: a private pep talk podcast for the moments that feel hardest, a full year in The Less Lonely Club, and more. Grab your bonuses at alexalexander.com/are-we-friends-yet WANT MORE? My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today! Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.

  ListenShow Notes
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  Episode #187

  Loneliness, Vitality, and the Six Domains of Health with Dr. Alan Rozanski

  Jul 23, 20261 hour

  It’s impossible to talk about friendship or community without the topic of loneliness. What is loneliness doing inside the body? How is it affecting our hearts, our brains, our stress hormones, and our actual day-to-day health? That’s exactly what we’re going to explore today with Dr. Alan Rozanski, a cardiologist who has spent decades studying this question: what allows people to truly flourish? Dr. Rozanski breaks down his six domains of health: physical health, mental vitality, emotional mastery, purposeful living, stress management, and social connectivity. And, of course, social connectivity is what I was most excited to talk about! This conversation gave me a lot to sit with, and I think it might do the same for you. In this episode you’ll hear about: Why the effects of social media can be both a lifeline and the “fast food” version of connection How to think about “minimum standards” for friendship, movement, purpose, and emotional well-being Dr. Rozanski’s six domains of health, and the vicious cycle that comes from just one low-ranking area How loneliness can become a cue we ignore or try to satisfy in the wrong place (plus, the stat that doesn’t tell the whole story) Vitality, and why it can give us a “North Pole” for understanding what our health needs Resources & Links Learn more about Dr. Alan Rozanski on his website . Episode 58: You’re Not Doing It Wrong: Why Friendship Looks Different for Everyone Episode 62: Finding Your Purpose Through Friendship with Mark Delaney of The Purpose Mastermind Episode 125: Super Psyched: The 4 Types of Connection We All Need This episode is sponsored by Are We Friends Yet?, Alex’s book on building the support system you’ve been wanting. Buy the book and submit your receipt before July 16th to get The Connector’s Toolkit free: a private pep talk podcast for the moments that feel hardest, a full year in The Less Lonely Club, and more. Grab your bonuses at alexalexander.com/are-we-friends-yet WANT MORE? My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today! Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.

  ListenShow Notes
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  Episode #186

  When Your Friend Starts Feeling Like a Different Person

  Jul 16, 202626 min

  Have you ever left a hangout with a friend and felt like 95% of the hangout was normal, but the other 5% was just… off? Maybe it was a comment that surprised you, or a value that seemed to come out of nowhere. And suddenly you’re wondering, wait, is this still the person I thought I knew?! That’s what I’m talking about in today’s episode. Notice this isn’t about friendship breakups or big fights. But rather, the strange grief of realizing a friend might be changing in a way that no longer feels aligned for you. I’ll walk through why this can feel so disorienting, how old friendship roots can keep us connected even when something important has shifted, and the 3 options I think you have when a friendship still exists, but the person inside it feels different. This episode is sponsored by Slowly, a digital penpal app used by over 10 million people worldwide! If you’ve been looking for a low-pressure way to connect with someone completely outside your normal friendship circle, this is it. Exchange letters at your own pace, no small talk panic required. Download Slowly free and get 30% off Slowly Plus using my link: https://open.slowly.app/miXL/l8ei5iw6 . In this episode you’ll hear about: What those tiny “wait, what?” moments can reveal, especially when most of your friendship still feels normal The difference between a friend simply changing and a friend shifting in a way that no longer feels aligned How friendship roots explain why old friendships can feel both familiar and disorienting at the same time When to consider a friendship demotion, a friendship pause, or ending a friendship altogether Resources & Links Order my book, Are We Friends Yet? and get immediate access to the Less Lonely Club Community and the 10-Day Connection Reset Private Podcast. Learn more about The Friendhood on their website and on Instagram . Episode 12: Digging Into the 3 Types of Friendship Roots Episode 45: Friendship Demotions (and How to Build Even Better Friendships) Episode 136: The Surprising Benefits of a Friendship Pause Like what you hear? Visit my website , leave me a voicemail , and follow me on Instagram and TikTok! Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out! This episode is sponsored by Are We Friends Yet?, Alex’s book on building the support system you’ve been wanting. Buy the book and submit your receipt before July 16th to get The Connector’s Toolkit free: a private pep talk podcast for the moments that feel hardest, a full year in The Less Lonely Club, and more. Grab your bonuses at alexalexander.com/are-we-friends-yet This episode is sponsored by Slowly , a digital pen pal app used by over 10 million people worldwide. If you’ve been looking for a low-pressure way to connect with someone completely outside your normal friendship circle, this is it. Exchange letters at your own pace, no small talk panic required. Download Slowly free and get 30% off Slowly Plus using my link: https://open.slowly.app/miXL/l8ei5iw6 WANT MORE? My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today! Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.

  ListenShow Notes

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