
Episode #99
Why Waiting to Feel Better Is Keeping You Stuck | Part 3
*]:pointer-events-auto R6Vx5W_threadScrollVars scroll-mb-[calc(var(--scroll-root-safe-area-inset-bottom,0px)+var(--thread-response-height))] scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]" dir="auto" data-turn-id= "request-6a109dc1-f728-8322-8cda-f3e85e7a7faa-26" data-turn-id-container= "request-6a109dc1-f728-8322-8cda-f3e85e7a7faa-26" data-testid= "conversation-turn-96" data-turn="assistant"> Episode Description "What if feeling better isn't what comes first?" In Part 3 of this five-part Grieve That Sh!t series, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, talks about something so many grievers find themselves doing: Waiting to feel better before they start living again. When I feel better, I'll go out. When I feel better, I'll travel. When I feel better, I'll clean out the room. When I feel better, I'll make plans. When I feel better, I'll start taking care of myself again. It makes sense. When you're already hurting, why would you willingly do something that might make you uncomfortable? But what if feeling better doesn't come first? What if some of the things you're waiting to feel ready for are actually part of how you begin to feel alive again? In this episode, Sharon talks about the trap of believing that you have to finish grieving before you're allowed to start living. Because grief doesn't hand you a certificate one morning that says you're done. Sometimes living starts before you feel ready. It might look like saying yes to dinner and crying in the parking lot first. Taking the trip and still feeling sad while you're there. Walking into the room you've been avoiding. Laughing with a friend and then feeling guilty because, for a moment, you were actually having a good time. Healing and living don't have to happen separately. You can still miss your person and begin participating in your life again. Sharon also explores why feeling good after loss can sometimes feel just as uncomfortable as feeling bad. You may start believing that your pain is proof of your love. That laughing means you've forgotten them. That enjoying yourself means you're moving on. That changing something means you're no longer loyal to the person you lost. But your love doesn't need that kind of evidence. You can miss them and laugh. You can love them and travel. You can wish they were here and still enjoy the people who are. You can grieve what you lost and still build something from what remains. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why waiting to "feel better" can keep you stuck Why you don't have to finish grieving before you start living How waiting for readiness can quietly become a way of life Why healing sometimes begins with doing something before you feel ready The difference between courage and feeling completely fearless Why good days, laughter, and joy can trigger guilt after loss How pain can become connected to loyalty and love Why enjoying your life does not mean you've forgotten your person How grief and living can exist at the same time Why one small step can matter more than waiting for the perfect feeling Questions to Sit With After Listening What am I waiting to feel better before I do? Am I waiting to feel ready, or am I waiting for certainty? What have I continued postponing because I'm grieving? Do I feel guilty when I laugh, have fun, or experience a good day? Have I started believing that my pain proves how much I love my person? What could living alongside my grief look like? Homework for You Sharon leaves you with one thing to look at: "What are you waiting to feel ready for?" Name it. Then ask yourself: "What would happen if I took one small step before I was completely ready?" Not the whole thing. Just one step. One dinner. One phone call. One class. One trip. One decision. One afternoon. You don't have to force yourself to be happy. You don't have to pretend the pain is gone. You're simply learning that your feelings don't have to approve every decision you make. Resources + Next Steps Listen to Part 1: Your Person Died. But That Is Not All You Are Grieving Listen to Part 2: Grief Is Making More Decisions Than You Think Continue listening to this five-part Grieve That Sh!t series Join The Story Room Book an appointment with Sharon: griefdiscovery.com Because maybe you don't need to feel ready first. Maybe you just need to decide that you don't want to wait forever. ❤️ _:empty]:hidden">

