How to have Extraordinary Relationships
Healing After the Unthinkable - Fiamma Montagu on Grief, Love and Finding a Way Through- S8 E8
Send us Fan Mail In this deeply moving episode, Lucy Cavendish speaks with ceramic sculptor Fiamma Montagu about the death of her daughter Ischia, who died by suicide at the age of 17, and the long, complex journey of living with grief that followed. Fiamma shares the shock and disbelief surrounding Ischia’s death, as well as her family’s experience of the mental health system and their concerns about the support Ischia received from CAMHS and other healthcare services despite previous suicide attempts. She talks candidly about the surreal practicalities that accompany devastating loss, from arranging a funeral while barely able to function to pursuing an inquest and trying to understand the circumstances surrounding her daughter’s death. The conversation also explores what healing can mean when there is no simple way to “move on.” Fiamma describes the practices that have helped her continue living, including exercise, breathwork, yoga, group therapy with other parents bereaved by suicide, Buddhist retreats and pilgrimages. At the heart of her journey has been a growing connection with spirituality, self-love and acceptance. Rather than claiming to have overcome her grief, Fiamma speaks about learning to live alongside it and, in her words, to live “gracefully.” Lucy and Fiamma also discuss creativity and the role of art in her life. Fiamma is an accomplished ceramic sculptor whose work has included involvement with the celebrated Tower of London poppy installation, alongside new public art commissions. A powerful conversation about motherhood, profound loss, the shortcomings families can encounter within mental health care, and the possibility of finding meaning, connection and moments of beauty after unimaginable tragedy. In this episode The sudden reality of losing a child to suicide Fiamma’s experience of CAMHS and mental health services The forthcoming inquest Navigating funeral arrangements and an inquest while grieving Why physical movement and breathwork became important Finding support among other suicide-bereaved parents Buddhism, retreats, pilgrimage and spirituality Self-love and learning to live alongside grief The healing role of creativity and sculpture Fiamma’s work on the Tower of London poppy installation Learning to live “gracefully” without pretending grief disappears Content note: This episode contains discussion of suicide, suicide attempts, bereavement and mental health difficulties. Please listen with care. www.fiammamontagu.co.uk Support the show Has this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more? You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody"..... On: http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/
