Episode #31
Behind the Badge: Trauma, Service, and the Courage to Listen with Frank Jones III
In this episode of In My Experience , I’m joined by Frank Jones III—a social worker, Marine veteran, police officer, crisis negotiator, locksmith, husband and father. I met Frank because I locked myself out of my camper at around 11 p.m. He was still finishing his police shift, so while we waited, we started a fire with the little wood we had. It lasted exactly until he arrived. When Frank got there, I apologized for being a silly goose and explained that I was moving. He asked where, and I said, “Right here—into this.” I told him about my divorce, my decision to live in the camper and my desire to travel and learn cob building. We had such an interesting conversation that I invited him onto the show. Frank shares how growing up as the oldest of five children, moving 21 times and experiencing physical and emotional abuse shaped the person he wanted to become. At only 12 or 13, he decided his adult life would be different and that he would become the best husband and father he could be. That desire led him toward a life of service. Frank worked in foster care, led anger-management groups for young people and taught drug and alcohol prevention before joining the Marine Corps and completing three deployments. He later brought his social-work background and military experience into law enforcement, where he has served for 11 years. We talk about the emotional weight first responders carry, the strain shift work places on families and Frank’s desire to spend more time with his wife and children. He is now considering school security, where he could continue supporting young people while creating more balance for his family. We also discuss domestic violence, mental-health crises and the need for more trauma-informed law-enforcement training. Frank explains the realities of responding to one crisis after another, the work of Crisis Intervention Teams and why listening can be more effective than immediately giving commands. I also share some of my experiences involving my divorce, custody, PFAs, arrests and interactions with the Pennsylvania State Police. When I edited this episode, I was ashamed of how quickly I moved into my own trauma after Frank shared something so personal about his childhood. I hoped to share a little of my story because it related, but I spoke too soon and ended up trauma dumping. It was inconsiderate. I reached out to Frank, apologized and am grateful that he accepted my apology. Sometimes, when someone shares something difficult, we double down on our own experience. We think we’re relating, but unintentionally redirect the attention back to ourselves. My story deserves space, too—but Frank’s story deserved to be acknowledged first. This reminded me that listening means allowing someone’s experience to land and letting them know they were truly heard. I want to be more conscious of that with everyone, especially guests who trust me with their stories. In this episode, we talk about: How childhood trauma can shape a life of service Social work, military service and law enforcement Crisis negotiation and de-escalation Domestic violence and mental-health response The emotional weight carried by first responders Shift work and family life Supporting young people through school security Sharing without overtaking another person’s story Accountability, apology and intentional listening This conversation is honest, layered and very human. Every lotus grows in the mud. Follow Christine and Hyacinth Healing: @hyacinthhealing
