It‘s Probably (not) Aliens!

Was Earth really visited by mysterious extraterrestrial travelers thousands of years ago as many proponents of ”ancient astronaut theory” believe? What are the hidden secrets and mysteries behind ancient monuments and forgotten civilizations?Every week, historian Tristan Johnson and regular human person Scott Niswander dive through the archives to learn about the fascinating histories of ancient civilizations while also debunking the myths and straight-up lies presented in History Channel‘s massively popular tv show Ancient Aliens that has sparked a new generation of conspiracy theorists. We hope through this show, you can gain an appreciation for just how cool ancient societies were, and not simply credit their impressive advancements to alien visitors.NEW EPISODES EVERY WEEK! Follow the show so you don‘t miss an episode, and leave us a review! It really helps us out!

It‘s Probably (not) Aliens! is a history podcast hosted by Tristan Johnson & Scott Niswander, with 163 episodes on record and a Required Pod Score of 80.

Tristan Johnson & Scott Niswander hosts It‘s Probably (not) Aliens!, a history show with 163 episodes published.

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  Episode #165

  Joan of Arc: God Forbid a Girl Break a Siege

  Sep 28, 20261h 30mS6

  A 17-year-old peasant girl helps turn the tide of the Hundred Years' War, and Ancient Aliens would like to speak to her extraterrestrial supervisor. Apparently, Joan of Arc couldn't have rallied an army without someone uploading military strategy into her brain. We look at what that explanation leaves out: the religious world Joan grew up in, a church bureaucracy that evaluated visions, and an exhausted French army with a very human morale problem. Then we follow her through the siege of Orléans and the fight to put Charles VII on the throne. Scott discovers that the historical figure he'd imagined as a man named Jonah Vark was, in fact, Joan of Arc. Her capture and trial bring us to the people who got to decide whether her convictions made her useful or dangerous. We discuss her execution, the later overturning of her conviction, and the French far right's use of her as an anti-immigration mascot. Everyone seems to have a use for Joan. Giving her credit for her own choices is apparently harder. Get new episodes early and support the show on Patreon and Nebula! Subscribe to It's Probably (not) Aliens for weekly episodes about cool ancient history! And give us a 5-star review if you have the time. It really helps us out! Tristan Johnson Bluesky | Twitter | YouTube Scott Niswander Bluesky | Twitter | YouTube Follow the show on Bluesky or Twitter for more updates! Ask us questions and send us topics to talk about at ProbsNotAliens.com Music by Rod Kim | Cover art by Skutch | Edited by Stanford See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

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  Episode #164

  Rendlesham Forest: 'Trust Me, Bro' in Binary

  Sep 21, 20261h 29mS6

  An airman touches a UFO in Rendlesham Forest, downloads a binary message into his brain, and keeps the evidence to himself for 30 years. That's the story Ancient Aliens wants us to accept. Conveniently, the message becomes public in time for television. We examine the notebook behind the claim, the details that grow with each retelling, and why a string of ones and zeros needs more than “trust me, bro” to count as evidence. Then we follow the alleged coordinates to Hy-Brasil, an Irish phantom island that mapmakers kept copying onto maps. Scott also uses Space Jam as a unit of time. This will apparently be on the test. The bigger problem is who gets to be humanity's chosen saviour. We connect Ancient Aliens' secret rulers to Silicon Valley's billionaire visionaries, Elon Musk's DOGE, and the idea that a special few should make decisions for everyone else. We finish with ways to check a source and challenge a revelation without waiting for another man with a notebook to save us. Get new episodes early and support the show on Patreon and Nebula! Subscribe to It's Probably (not) Aliens for weekly episodes about cool ancient history! And give us a 5-star review if you have the time. It really helps us out! Tristan Johnson Bluesky | Twitter | YouTube Scott Niswander Bluesky | Twitter | YouTube Follow the show on Bluesky or Twitter for more updates! Ask us questions and send us topics to talk about at ProbsNotAliens.com Music by Rod Kim | Cover art by Skutch | Edited by Stanford See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

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  Episode #163

  We Goofed: Scott Had a Baby. We Have Bad News.

  Sep 14, 20261h 16mS6

  Scott is back from parental leave and asks what he missed. Tristan opens with the war in Iran. Welcome back, buddy. We kick off the season with a news catch-up and corrections on Yellowstone's supposed apocalypse schedule, willow bark and aspirin, and how Soviet worker awards helped bosses demand more work. Scott gets challenged on Scooby-Doo continuity and Thanos's motives, then looks for the technicality that means he was right anyway. Also, Denis Leary has apparently been working this whole time. Sorry, Denis. Along the way, we talk Artemis II, the media fixation on Hasan Piker, and The Onion's Infowars plans. A listener revisits Tristan's old warning about war with Iran, which is a miserable thing to get right. We also discuss David Wilcock's death and how to criticize harmful ideas without mocking someone's mental health. The soundboard is back, too. You've been warned. Content note: Discussion of suicide and depression. Get new episodes early and support the show on Patreon and Nebula! Subscribe to It's Probably (not) Aliens for weekly episodes about cool ancient history! And give us a 5-star review if you have the time. It really helps us out! Tristan Johnson Bluesky | Twitter | YouTube Scott Niswander Bluesky | Twitter | YouTube Follow the show on Bluesky or Twitter for more updates! Ask us questions and send us topics to talk about at ProbsNotAliens.com Music by Rod Kim | Cover art by Skutch | Edited by Stanford See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

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  Episode #161

  Walking Amogus

  Jun 15, 20261h 9mS5

  David Jacobs spent his retirement from teaching history at Temple University convinced that alien-human hybrids he calls hubrids are quietly moving into apartments in Philadelphia, taking jobs, and waiting for a signal to enslave the planet. The catch is that these telepathic interstellar conquerors apparently cannot work a toaster, order a coffee, or figure out when to clap at a concert, so they abduct people to teach them. Tristan is joined by Mildred from Thought Slime, back for a record number of guest spots while Scott is on baby duty, to walk through how Jacobs assembled an entire alien class system of robed mantises, drone grays, and prototype hybrids out of nothing but hypnosis sessions, a lot of them done over the phone. Then it stops being funny. We get into how hypnotic regression manufactures memories that feel more real than the real ones, the documented case of the woman Jacobs put through 91 sessions and the harm he caused her, and why the History Channel keeps handing this guy a microphone (the answer is ad money, mostly). Underneath the goofy lore is great replacement rhetoric with the labels swapped out: a hidden enemy that looks like you but isn't, a coming loss of everything you are, and a man selling himself as the only one who can save you. Same story Europe told about changelings centuries ago, now with a UFO strapped to it. We land somewhere more hopeful, on why actually knowing the people around you is the thing that breaks the spell. Guest Plug: Mildred from Thought Slime makes left-wing comedy and video essays on YouTube at youtube.com/@thoughtslime. Mildred is also, for the record, the current title-holder for most IPNA guest appearances. Get new episodes early and support the show on Patreon and Nebula! Subscribe to It's Probably (not) Aliens for weekly episodes about cool ancient history! And give us a 5-star review if you have the time. It really helps us out! Tristan Johnson Bluesky | Twitter | YouTube Scott Niswander Bluesky | Twitter | YouTube Follow the show on Bluesky or Twitter for more updates! Ask us questions and send us topics to talk about at ProbsNotAliens.com Music by Rod Kim | Cover art by Skutch | Edited by Max See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

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  Episode #160

  The Real Mantis Was The Exploitation We Made Along The Way

  Jun 8, 20261h 21mS5

  Somewhere in the deep lore of alien abduction, past the gray guys who run the equipment, sits a manager. Six to nine feet of praying mantis, purple robe for rank, telepathic, standing at the head of the table while the drones do the wet work. It regards you the way a farmer regards livestock. This week, Tristan brings on Stanford (yes, the one we verbally abused all of last season, now a guest in good standing) to work out where this giant bug came from. The trail runs straight to David Jacobs, an actual history professor who ran more than 900 hypnotic regression sessions and emerged with a full taxonomy of alien species and their agendas. We get into why hypnosis is the same memory-fabricating machine that produced the satanic panic, how your brain rebuilds every memory from scratch and patches the gaps with whatever's lying around, and why sleep paralysis has been parking a terrifying presence at the foot of human beds for as long as we've had beds. Then there's the square-cube law, which is grim news for anyone hoping a seven-foot insect could stand up without collapsing into paste. Then the part that matters. Peel the costume off the mantis, and you're left with a job description: detached managers who treat the people under them as a resource to optimize, workers who run the program with zero ethical input, surveillance nobody consented to, monitored reproduction, value squeezed out of people the system won't acknowledge as people. That's capitalism with extra legs. The mantis is a face bolted onto a faceless system, because our brains would sooner hunt one villain than sit with the idea that nobody's driving. Your anger is correct. The target is a bug. (Next week, we put Jacobs himself under the magnifying glass.) Guest plug: Stanford co-hosts Captain's Log Supplemental , a Star Trek rewatch podcast grinding through the entire canon in chronological order, currently surfacing into Strange New Worlds after doing hard time in Enterprise. Go find it wherever you get podcasts. Get new episodes early and support the show on Patreon and Nebula! Subscribe to It's Probably (not) Aliens for weekly episodes about cool ancient history! And give us a 5-star review if you have the time. It really helps us out! Tristan Johnson Bluesky | Twitter | YouTube Scott Niswander Bluesky | Twitter | YouTube Follow the show on Bluesky or Twitter for more updates! Ask us questions and send us topics to talk about at ProbsNotAliens.com Music by Rod Kim | Cover art by Skutch | Edited by Max See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

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