Episode #50
When Things Don’t Go as Planned: How to Trust Yourself & Let Go of Control
Thought You Had Your SHIT Together??? What happens when you do everything “right,” make the plan, prepare for what could go wrong - and life still doesn’t cooperate? In this solo episode of Life Beyond B.S. , Heather McNally is talking about self-trust, letting go of control, dealing with unexpected change, and what to do when life doesn’t go according to plan. Because sometimes you really did prepare. You thought ahead. You made the responsible choice. You anticipated the problem. You had the checklist. And then reality apparently did not receive a copy of your itinerary. Heather shares two very different experiences from her own life - one involving her ongoing battle with Massachusetts and Rhode Island traffic on the way to an art class, and another involving a much more significant experience with changing her relationship with food and discovering that a plan she thought was solid had a pretty important hole in it. And both experiences led to the same realization: Sometimes you don't know what you don't know until you actually live it. That doesn't mean planning doesn't matter. It doesn't mean you shouldn't prepare, make thoughtful decisions, or take personal responsibility when you genuinely could have done something differently. But there's a difference between discovering a flaw in your plan and deciding there's a flaw in you. In this episode, Heather explores why we can become so attached to our plans and desired outcomes, why hindsight makes it incredibly easy to judge past versions of ourselves, and how perfectionism, control, self-criticism, and fear of failure can make an unexpected outcome feel like evidence that we screwed everything up. And then there's self-trust. What if trusting yourself doesn't mean trusting yourself to always make the perfect decision? What if it means trusting yourself to deal with whatever actually happens? You can make the best decision you know how to make with the information you have today. And when tomorrow gives you new information, you can adjust, ask for help, change your mind, make a different choice - or admit that something simply isn't working anymore. Changing the plan doesn't automatically mean you failed. Sometimes it's what failing forward, personal growth, emotional resilience, and healthy self-trust actually look like. Heather also challenges the idea that “having your shit together” means being perfectly organized, prepared, emotionally regulated, responsible, and somehow capable of preventing anything from ever going wrong. Because, good luck with that. Maybe having your shit together means something else entirely: When shit happens, you don't abandon yourself in the middle of it. You may get angry. Cry. Get overwhelmed. Yell at traffic. Pick a fight you later realize wasn't really about the other person. You're still human. The question isn't whether you handled every moment perfectly. The question is: What happens next? Heather leaves you with two powerful questions for those moments when life doesn't go according to plan: What is true right now? And then: Given what is true right now, what do I choose next? Because you can't control every outcome, every circumstance, or every person around you. But you can learn how to respond to reality instead of beating yourself up because reality wasn't in the fucking plan. ️ Life Beyond B.S. with Heather McNally Break the beliefs. Ditch the bullshit. Reclaim your life. Learn more about Heather, coaching, the podcast, and upcoming offerings at HeatherMcNally.com If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who needs the reminder that changing the plan doesn't mean they failed - and they don't need to know exactly what's coming next to trust themselves enough to meet it.
