Episode #100
100 | Beyond Happily Ever After: The Science of Long-term Love with Lee Baucom
In this podcast, we deep dived into the world of ‘Happily Ever After’—and what actually happens after the final page is turned. To help us separate the soulmate myths from relationship science, we are joined by, Lee Baucom, a man who spends his days helping couples navigate the ‘sequels’ that romance novels usually skip over. Lee shares actionable advice on maintaining connection, debunks common romance myths, and emphasizes the importance of daily interactions and emotional regulation in sustaining long-term love. Key Topics: The critical role of daily low-intensity, high-frequency positive interactions in relationships Why grand gestures are temporary fixes rather than sustainable solutions How small 'bids' for connection, like sharing a bite or a glance, build trust and intimacy Identifying red flags in romantic tropes such as enemies-to-lovers or forced proximity The biological basis of passion and how to bridge the chemical gap with intentional actions The misconception of 'the one' and focusing on skill-building rather than fate Defensive behaviors, emotional dysregulation, and the importance of safety and ownership in conflicts Tools and resources such as the Unpause Marriage app and Save the Marriage system for relationship repair How emotional safety and good communication markers predict relationship resilience Addressing the cultural and myth-based ideas about effortless love and the importance of skills over infatuation Resources & Links: Save the Marriage System Save the Marriage Podcast Book: How to Save Your Marriage in 3 Simple Steps Book: Recovering from an Affair Let’s Chat! Have a love story to share or a book recommendation we can’t miss? Maybe you have a "What Would You Do?" dilemma for us to tackle? We’d also love to hear from published authors or fellow relationship podcasters interested in an interview! Head over to www.myperfectromance.com to connect. But while you're here… don’t forget to follow the show and leave a rating or review. Letting us know what you think really means the world to us! Legal Disclaimer: My Perfect Romance is hosted by friends sharing personal opinions and entertainment. We are not licensed relationship experts, counselors, or therapists. For professional advice, please consult a licensed relationship specialist or mental health professional, like Lee Baucom. Coming Up: Girls Like Girls starring Maya da Costa and Myra Molloy Apparently, I'm a Bitch with Demi Blaze One Golden Summer by Carly Fortune Chapters (00:00:00) - THE PERPETUAL ROMANCE (00:00:31) - In the Elevator With Steven Lee (00:01:43) - Lee Balcomb on Her New Book (00:02:55) - The Importance of Relationships (00:05:29) - The Grand Gesture in Relationships (00:09:27) - The Bad Things Parents Do For Their Kids (00:10:42) - Red flags for a Sustainable Real World Marriage (00:11:52) - Forced Closeness and How It Affects People (00:12:54) - What Are the Key Problems in Relationships? (00:17:37) - The arc of a relationship (00:18:36) - How To Fall in Love (00:22:08) - Can a Person Change Their Attachment Style Just Because They Met The (00:27:07) - What Are the Signs That a Relationship Is Staying Together? (00:30:17) - How to emotionally regulate the other person (00:34:43) - How to Be More Real in the Relationship (00:36:15) - How to Win in a Relationship With Conflict (00:36:55) - Fighting Controlling Behavior in Relationships (00:39:30) - The One and How It Affects Relationships (00:43:38) - How to Have a Successful Marriage (00:46:54) - How To Get Out of a Relationship (00:48:14) - What Makes a Happy Couple? (00:49:36) - Pam and Jim's Pickleball (00:51:24) - Marriage and Pickleball (00:53:23) - Is Edward and Bella Avoidant Attachment? (00:57:05) - What Romance Writers Need to Know About Relationships (01:02:29) - How to Get Out of Pain (01:03:23) - Punishing the Relationship: How to Unpause Your Marriage
