New Earth Alchemy: Healing & Manifestation Insights
Why You Self-Sabotage: Unfulfilled Desires, Reality Bubbles & True Transformation
Colby Wilk https://colbywilk.com/ Micro-Challenge / Journaling Exercise The "Unfulfilled Desire" Root-Cause Audit In this episode, we explore how unfulfilled goals or hidden self-sabotage are often tied to deeper subconscious motivations—like avoiding responsibility, seeking external validation, or fear of being truly seen. This 3-minute exercise helps you uncover the hidden driver behind a goal you’ve been struggling to achieve. Step 1: Name the Stagnant Goal (30 Seconds) Write down one goal, desire, or project that you’ve been chasing or feeling stuck on: Prompt: "The goal or outcome I want, but haven't been able to realize or sustain, is:" ________________________ Step 2: The Subconscious Motivation Audit (2 Minutes) Ask yourself these three honest questions: Safety/Avoidance: "If I actually achieve this goal today, what new pressure, responsibility, or visibility am I afraid I’ll have to face?" Validation: "Am I pursuing this because I genuinely desire it, or am I trying to prove something to someone else (or my past)?" The "Reality Bubble" Check: "Am I seeking quick relief from discomfort, or am I actually ready for the identity transformation this requires?" Step 3: The Micro-Action (30 Seconds) Shift from seeking "relief" to choosing one small step of genuine alignment today. Either let go of the goal if it isn't truly yours, or take one tiny action that requires you to step out of hiding and allow yourself to be seen. Discussion Shifts in Personal and Collective Evolution Both speakers discussed how personal and collective attitudes toward self-improvement and evolution have shifted over recent years. Colby observed that people are less interested in identifying what's wrong with them and more focused on changing themselves rather than circumstances. Savannah noted that access to diverse philosophies and information has helped people move beyond needing to label issues, instead focusing on working with and moving past them. Both agreed that challenges are a constant part of life and necessary for growth, and that the abundance of information today makes intuitive knowing more important. They also discussed the paradox of seeking relief versus transformation, emphasizing that true evolution often requires facing discomfort and doing inner work rather than seeking quick fixes. Desires, Self-Sabotage, and Personal Evolution The conversation explored why people often do not achieve what they claim to want. Colby shared a client example: a woman unable to find a partner because her deeper motivation was to prove her sanity to her father, not genuine desire for marriage. Savannah reflected on her own experience, realizing that her business did not grow because she subconsciously avoided the responsibility it would bring. Both agreed that people often pursue goals for reasons tied to external validation or avoidance, and that true satisfaction comes from aligning desires with authentic self-awareness. Colby emphasized that we often have the life we allow ourselves to have, and that satisfaction in one domain (e.g., emotional support) does not guarantee satisfaction in another (e.g., hiring reliable people). The discussion highlighted the importance of examining one's relationship to unfulfilled desires as a path to personal evolution. The Need to Be Seen and Witnessed A significant portion of the discussion focused on the human need to be seen and witnessed. Savannah shared that her upbringing taught her to hide, making it difficult to be visible in her work and marketing. Colby expanded on this, explaining that everyone wants to be seen in a specific way, and that much healing comes from being witnessed by others. He noted that technology and individualism have made people less curious about others, leading to loneliness for those with unique interests or higher consciousness. The speakers agreed that finding peers who share one's depth of well-being is rare, and that being witnessed is crucial for self-definition and healing. Spiritual Practice and Everyday Mindfulness Savannah described her approach to spirituality as integrated into daily life rather than a separate practice. She views every action—parenting, eating, gardening, driving—as part of her spiritual practice, likening it to a river that sometimes flows peacefully and sometimes is turbulent. She uses mindfulness to navigate stress and emotions, questioning the need for constant productivity and reflecting on the meaning of legacy. Colby added that clarity about one's life direction (e.g., what to have on a tombstone) simplifies decision-making. Both agreed that fulfillment can come from simple, loving lives, not just grand achievements. Evolution, Self-Actualization, and Transformation The core theme was the distinction between relief and true evolution or self-actualization. Colby argued that evolution involves becoming more of oneself, not less, and that it often requires discomfort, loss of identity, and facing brokenness. He used metaphors like the caterpillar turning into a butterfly and muscle micro-tears to illustrate growth through adversity. Savannah agreed, noting that self-actualization is about returning to one's natural state. They discussed how people often pursue goals that don't align with their true selves, and that transformation requires honest self-examination. Colby differentiated between manifestation (getting what you want) and self-actualization (realizing your true self), emphasizing that not everyone is called to the latter, and that's acceptable. The conversation also touched on the paradoxes of truth, the role of intention and conclusion in shaping reality, and the importance of balancing personal desires with collective well-being. Truth, Reality Bubbles, and Paradox in Spirituality The speakers explored the nature of truth and reality, agreeing that individuals live in their own 'reality bubbles' shaped by personal conclusions and beliefs. Savannah argued that truth is subjective and constructed, while Colby acknowledged the existence of both personal truths and objective truths. They discussed how people often seek validation for their own perspectives, leading to echo chambers and conflicts when different reality bubbles collide. Both emphasized the importance of expanding consciousness beyond one's own bubble and adopting universal values like kindness and gratitude. Colby noted that spirituality often involves navigating paradoxes, such as holding both personal and collective truths simultaneously. People Pleasing, Boundaries, and Relationship Dynamics Colby and Savannah discussed the dynamics of people pleasing versus self-advocacy. Colby described his own recovery from people-pleasing tendencies, sharing an example where he sacrificed his own desires to accommodate a friend's needs, leading to resentment and the end of the relationship. They identified two main types: people pleasers, who prioritize others' wants, and non-pleasers, who focus on their own. Both agreed that balance is needed—people pleasers must learn self-advocacy, while non-pleasers need empathy. Savannah noted she falls between the two, willing to help others but not at her own expense. The conversation highlighted the importance of boundaries and self-awareness in healthy relationships. Promotion of Workshop and Closing Remarks At the end of the meeting, Colby promoted his upcoming workshop, 'Evolve Yourself Free,' scheduled for September 26th at 9:30 Pacific. The workshop focuses on using unfulfilled desires (in career, love, money, etc.) as opportunities for personal evolution, rather than seeking mere relief. He emphasized developing a working relationship with the universe to discern what is truly one's path. The meeting concluded with mutual appreciation and logistical notes about scheduling future meetings and maintaining boundaries. Deepen the Alchemy: If this "Reality Soup" is nourishing you, consider joining our inner circle on Patreon. You’ll get access to exclusive bonus episodes (like our "Nature Chakra" series), deep-dive journaling prompts, and the "Nerd-Geek" blueprints we use to reclaim our sovereignty. Patreon.com/EarthandWater © 2022–2026 Earth and Water Salt Room and Wellness LLC Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/new-earth-alchemy-healing-manifestation-insights--5272907/support .
