Episode #197
~197~"When Your Child Is Diagnosed With ADHD or Autism: The Grief, Identity Shift & Parenting Reset" with Nadia Patel
Parenting Teens Advice Redefined for Today’s World with Cheryl Pankhurst What happens when your child receives an ADHD or autism diagnosis—and suddenly the future you imagined for your family feels uncertain? In this deeply honest conversation, Cheryl Pankhurst talks with Nadia Patel , high-performance identity coach, speaker, and mother of two neurodivergent children, about the emotional side of parenting that doesn't get talked about enough. Because a diagnosis doesn't just change what you understand about your child. Sometimes, it changes how you see yourself. Nadia shares her personal journey through parenting ADHD and autism, including the shock of diagnosis, parental grief, burnout, fear about the future, financial and family pressures, and the realization that she needed to work on her own emotional regulation before she could fully support her children. And this conversation gets real. We talk about the thoughts parents may be afraid to admit: What does this mean for my child's future? What does this mean for my career? What will this do to our marriage? Will our family ever feel normal again? Those thoughts don't make you a bad parent. They make you human. But what we do with those thoughts matters. Nadia explains how shifting her own identity changed the way she experienced her son's autism and ADHD—and how she moved from seeing the challenges as something that was bigger than her to becoming someone who could hold both her family and the life she still wanted to create. Cheryl and Nadia also discuss why parents need to be careful about spending too much time in online parenting groups, consuming worst-case scenarios about autism and ADHD, and worrying about problems that may never happen. For parents of neurodivergent children and teens, this episode is a reminder that your child's diagnosis is not the end of their story—and it doesn't have to be the end of yours either. In this episode, we talk about: What parents may experience emotionally after an ADHD or autism diagnosis The grief that can accompany a diagnosis—and why talking about it doesn't mean you don't accept your child The difference between accepting your child and worrying about how the world will treat them Parenting burnout and why parental regulation matters How a parent's internal view of their child can influence the way that child experiences themselves The identity shift that can happen when you're parenting a neurodivergent child ADHD and autism parenting challenges How parents can hold space for their child's needs without putting their own dreams and identity on hold Finding practical support when you're overwhelmed Why asking for help is not failure The impact of neurodivergence on siblings, marriage, finances and family life Why online parenting communities can sometimes increase anxiety instead of reducing it The importance of staying grounded in the present instead of constantly worrying about your child's future Why your child's diagnosis does not mean you have to abandon the life you want A message for the parent listening If you've ever thought, “I don't know how we're going to do this,” you're not alone. And if you've had thoughts or feelings that you don't feel comfortable admitting out loud, that doesn't automatically make you a bad parent. You may simply need somewhere safe to process what you're carrying. As Nadia says, getting support for yourself can be one of the most important things you do for your child. And Cheryl's reminder throughout this podcast is simple: It's not them. It's you—and that's where the magic happens. Not because your teen or child is the problem. Because sometimes changing the way we understand ourselves, our children and the situation we're facing changes everything. About Nadia Patel Nadia Patel is a high-performance identity coach, speaker and mother of two neurodivergent children. Her work focuses on identity, self-belief, confidence and the internal shifts that can help people create meaningful change in their careers, relationships, businesses and lives. Find Nadia at nadiapatelcoaching.com . About Cheryl Pankhurst Cheryl Pankhurst is an Educational Strategist and Family Advocate with more than 25 years of experience supporting teenagers, families and schools. Her work includes neurodivergent teens, ADHD, autism, psycho-educational assessments, IEPs, school advocacy and the transition through high school. If your teenager is struggling at school, you've received a new diagnosis, you're trying to understand an assessment, or you need help navigating the school system, visit CherylPankhurst.com . #NeurodivergentParenting #ADHDParenting #AutismParenting #ParentingTeens #ParentingTeenagers
