Episode #15
Understanding Shame, Trauma, and the Path Back to Yourself
Join Coach Eric Fischer and Dr. Frank Spinelli—physician, certified health and trauma-informed coach, and author of The Shame Compass—for a deep conversation about the emotion most of us spend our lives trying to outrun. This episode unpacks the crucial difference between guilt and shame: guilt says "I did something bad" and can move us toward repair, while shame whispers "I am bad" and attaches itself to our identity. You'll learn why that inner voice isn't truly your own, how it gets installed in childhood or through later trauma, and why running from shame never works—because the goal isn't to eliminate it, but to build the literacy to understand what it's trying to tell you. Along the way, you'll get practical, usable tools: the four P's for staying grounded when you're activated (pause, present, ponder, possibilities), the practice of separating the intellectual voice from the impulsive, childlike one instead of staying fused with both, and the difference between toxic shame and healthy shame that points you back toward your core values. The conversation explores how shame breeds in isolation, why community and service dilute its power, and how naming what we feel—out loud, in the moment—can free us. You'll also hear an honest look at how shame shows up differently around our bodies, our roles, our sexuality, and our sense of provision, and how much of it was handed to us by institutions, families, and culture rather than chosen. Whether you're working to change your relationship with alcohol or simply want to live with less armor and more authenticity, this episode offers a compassionate, science-informed framework for getting back up after you've been knocked down. The Reframeable podcast is brought to you by the Reframe app. Reframe is the #1 app to help you cut back or quit drinking alcohol. It uses neuroscience to reframe your relationship with alcohol and unlock the healthiest, happiest you. If you're enjoying this podcast, please like, subscribe, and share with those that you feel may benefit from it. If you have a topic you'd like us to cover on the podcast, send an email to podcast@reframeapp.com or, if you're on the Reframe app, give it a shake and let us know what you want to hear.
