On Sex, Love, and Addiction, Dr. Rob Weiss, sex therapist and author of a dozen books on sex and relationship healing, interviews global experts like Dr’s. Sue Johnson, Harville Hendrix, Dr. Stan Tatkin, and Helen Fisher, Dr. Kenneth Adams among others. This podcast features robust discussions focused on healing from chronic infidelity, cheating, porn, and sex addiction, along with the pain of relationship betrayal. Dr. Rob is Chief Clinical Officer for Seeking integrity Treatment Centers. He is a 30-year licensed therapist, a Ph.D. sexologist, and author Sex Addiction 101, Prodependence, and Out of the Doghouse, among other books. This podcast is dedicated to bringing information, advice, and direction from experts around the world to those seeking answers to some of life’s most challenging questions.
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Booking probability
34%
Guest openness
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80/100
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Sex, Love, and Addiction is a health podcast hosted by Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW, with 195 episodes on record and a Required Pod Score of 80. PitchCentric scores this show on Booking Probability, Listen Score, and live audience signals refreshed every 24 hours.
About the host
Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW hosts Sex, Love, and Addiction, a health show with 195 episodes published.
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Episode #159
Stop Setting Yourself on Fire To Keep Everyone Else Warm Part 1
Aug 13, 202635 min
Dr. Rob is joined by compatibility specialist Jena Jake. Together they discuss the power of feeling a pain so strong that you are finally ready to stop self-abandoning. They explore the importance of awareness and boundaries, what it looks like to build a life alone, and strategies for carefully choosing the self-talk and blaming that so many of us face in unhealthy relationships. TAKEAWAYS: [2:03] Jena’s transition from marital therapy to executive coaching. [3:35] What are we looking for when choosing a partner? [6:07] Identifying patterns that feel like love. [8:42] Jena’s ABA formula, including awareness and healthy boundaries. [12:24] Your inner self needs you to stop giving yourself away. [15:10] Facing your wake up moment. [17:00] Yes, you can build a life alone. [17:53] Seen, safe, supported, sought after and satisfied. [22:28] Rebuilding trust after betrayal. [27:55] Be careful about self-talk and blame. [29:50] Jena’s healing journey. RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101 Seeking Integrity Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment Partner Sexuality Survey Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions. QUOTES: “What feels familiar isn’t always what’s aligned or what’s good for you.” “Stop setting yourself on fire to keep everyone else warm.” “You may not have gotten better, but you did deserve better.” “I don’t have to trust you, but I do have to trust myself.”
Stop Setting Yourself on Fire To Keep Everyone Else Warm Part 2
Aug 13, 202637 min
Dr. Rob and Jena Jake continue their conversation about finding healthy relationships that you can model, the role of grief in love and healing, and tactics to empower yourself today, no matter what your healthy or unhealthy relationships with a spouse, partner, child or parent might look like. TAKEAWAYS: [1:24] Pushing back against powerful but unhealthy attachments. [6:10] How could I not have know this was happening? [8:08] Making improvements within yourself. [9:56] The role of grief in love and healing. [12:32] When is it finally time to stop and say no? [16:10] Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. [19:26] Tactics to empower yourself now. [22:05] Identifying the patterns that create your actions. [26:15] Jena’s final advice for empowerment. RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101 Seeking Integrity Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment Partner Sexuality Survey Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions. QUOTES: “Change your familiar and your baseline for relationships.” “You’re not trying to get someone, you’re trying to become someone.” “It’s time to stop self-abandoning and start moving forward.” “Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.” “Empowering yourself empowers other people.”
Dr. Rob, Beth Kelley, and Dr. Brett Kennedy continue their conversation about the many faces of loneliness. They consider the challenge and impact of technology on authentic relationships, explore Dr. Rob’s recent experience with ChatGPT, and reflect on the hard work that is creating human connection and combatting loneliness every single day. TAKEAWAYS: [1:25] What about partners who are physically together but not connected? [4:58] The role of ChatGPT and social media in loneliness. [9:20] Seeking connecting is not simple work. [12:30] How to regulate when you’re feeling overstimulated. [14:32] Acceptance of what is over what you want there to be. [16:21] Loneliness in the face of technology. [22:04] Interpersonal relationships have to be two-way. [26:40] Loneliness and betrayal in marriage. [29:06] Connecting with Both and Brett. RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101 Seeking Integrity Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment Partner Sexuality Survey Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions. QUOTES: “What is the connection that I’m seeking to make when I’m reaching for my phone?” “Combating loneliness is hard work. It’s the work of being human.” “Acceptance is not always endorsement.” “Until you’re actually interacting with other humans, technology use will put you at a disadvantage.”
Beth Kelley, LPC, and clinical psychologist Dr. Brett Kennedy are cofounders of The Lonliness Lab. Together with Dr. Rob they explore the many facets of loneliness, including what it means to be connected but isolated, the danger of lacking genuine intimacy, and distiguishing between loneliness, aloneness, and isolation. Each is part of the human experience, but are they all inherently bad? And what is the difference between connection versus community, and why does it matter when navigating the many faces of loneliness? TAKEAWAYS: [2:27] Introducing Beth Kelly and Brett Kennedy. [3:10] People are just people when it comes to lonliness. [4:35] Defining loneliness as an existential connection gap. [8:01] What makes us feel lonely versus connected? [9:08] Uncovering the layers of loneliness, aloneness, and isolation. [12:30] Introverted but overstimulated? Extroverted but lonely? [16:04] Is loneliness inherently bad? [19:02] Experiencing loneliness as an addict. [21:48] Defining loneliness as a longing and a relationship gap. [25:18] Loneliness as a physical response. [28:00] Stop telling me I need more community! RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101 Seeking Integrity Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment Partner Sexuality Survey Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions. QUOTES: “All people are feeling lonely, but not everyone is talking about it.” “Lonliness is part of the human experience, even when we feel fulfilled in relationships.” “Loneliness is ultimately connected to belonging.” “Loneliness is a mind-body experience that has a profound impact on the nervous system.”
Dr. Rob challenges the common belief that the addiction part of a person is separate and therefore able to be dealt with and removed altogether. Rather, the addict part of you is part of the whole you, and will always have the potential to act out again. As a result, there is danger in declaring that you will never act out again. So what can recovering addicts do instead? Dr. Rob highlights reasonable expectations of both partners in recovery, strategies for building trust again, and the importance of creating a solid support group for both partners after betrayal. TAKEAWAYS: [1:22] There are two separate parts of me, right? Wrong. [4:00] If I lie again am I not really in recovery? [5:45] The value of attending 12-Step meetings long after recovery begins. [8:07] Common pitfalls in the years after recovery. [10:09] The importance of building social support relationships. [11:46] Treatment doesn’t actually fix anyone. [13:36] Will my spouse ever do this to me again? [18:03] Strategies for building trust after betrayal. [22:00] Spouses have work to do as well. [27:07] Will we ever be happy together again? [32:00] Addicts need to work every day on being the best people they can be. RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101 Seeking Integrity Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment Partner Sexuality Survey Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions. QUOTES: “Your capability to do negative things doesn’t go away because you keep your addiction in check. It’s who you are.” “Recovering addicts who are fearful and worried about slipping up have a realistic sense of what they’re facing when they go out in the world.” “Treatment doesn’t ‘fix’ anyone. It just gives you a chance for remission.” “You can only build trust with what you are doing, not with what you are saying.” “Addicts need to work every day on being the best people they can be.”
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