Episode #10
Why Bullying Stays in Your Body with Dr. Trevor Hoppe
What happens when childhood bullying ends, but your body still acts like you’re under threat? In this episode of Smart Sex, Smart Love , Dr. Joe Kort sits down with award-winning sociologist and author Dr. Trevor Hoppe to explore the long-lasting effects of childhood bullying — not only on our mental health, but on our bodies, relationships, and sense of self. Dr. Hoppe introduces the idea of “embodied vigilance” : the ways repeated bullying and childhood trauma can leave the body stuck in a state of protection long after the danger has passed. Drawing from his ongoing research and his own experience of being bullied as a child, Trevor explains why something that happened in middle school can still affect us decades later. Joe also shares his own experiences with severe childhood bullying, including what happened when he confronted some of his former bullies as an adult. Together, Joe and Trevor discuss who is most vulnerable to bullying, why gender and sexuality are so often policed by peers and institutions, whether fighting back actually helps, and the different ways kids learn to survive — from making themselves invisible to embracing the very qualities they’re being targeted for. Most importantly, they explore something surprisingly powerful: the difference one supportive adult can make in the life of a bullied child. Dr. Trevor Hoppe is an Associate Professor of Sociology, Criminology & Justice Studies at UNC Greensboro. His work explores sexuality, public health, consent, stigma, and the law. MORE FROM DR. TREVOR HOPPE Pick up a copy of Unsafe Words: Queering Consent in the #MeToo Era , co-edited by Trevor Hoppe and Shantel Gabrieal Buggs. Trevor is also currently researching his forthcoming book on bullying, tentatively titled Kick Me If You Think I’m Gay , examining the long-lasting effects of gender and sexuality-based bullying on people's bodies and minds. Website: http://www.trevorhoppe.com Instagram: @trevorsaidwhat Have a bullying story to share? Dr. Hoppe’s research study is ongoing. If you think your experience may be a good fit, contact the study team at: embodiedvigilance@gmail.com CHAPTERS 00:00 Intro: The Lasting Impact of Bullying 01:03 Why Bullying Can Follow Us Into Adulthood 02:14 Who Is Most Affected by Gender & Sexuality-Based Bullying? 03:28 Dr. Joe Kort’s Experience With Childhood Bullying 05:53 “Embodied Vigilance”: How Trauma Lives in the Body 07:45 Do Bullies Remember What They Did? 10:45 Should You Fight Back Against a Bully? 11:06 Bullying Isn’t Just Individual — It Can Be Systemic 13:59 Who Is Most at Risk of Being Bullied? 17:28 How One Supportive Adult Can Change Everything 18:25 How Kids Learn to Protect Themselves From Bullying 20:29 Fighting Back, Fitting In & Hiding Who You Are 23:13 What Adults Can Do for Bullied Kids 25:01 What Happens When No One Steps In 27:04 Where to Find Dr. Trevor Hoppe 27:41 Closing Subscribe to Smart Sex, Smart Love for more candid conversations with Dr. Joe Kort about sex, relationships, identity, mental health, and the parts of love and sexuality we don’t talk about enough. Follow Dr. Joe Kort on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Substack @DrJoeKort. #Bullying #ChildhoodTrauma #LGBTQ #MentalHealth #Trauma #DrJoeKort #SmartSexSmartLove Support the show
