Episode #86
Anger: What Is It Trying to Tell You?
Send us Fan Mail Today I want to talk about “Anger” What if I told you that anger itself isn’t the problem? What if anger is just your body’s alarm system telling you that something deeper needs your attention? Before I begin I would like to make one thing clear. Feeling angry does not make someone abusive. Anger is an absolutely normal human emotion and a very normal human response. Abuse is something different. Abuse is a pattern of harmful behaviors, or choices that can involve anger , but anger itself is not abuse. We all experience anger, but we all don’t become abusive. With that said…let’s talk about what anger really is. Most of us have been taught that anger is just an emotion . And while that’s true, its only part of the story. Anger is also a response. the difference is; An emotion is something we experience internally . Fear, sadness, embarrassment, disappointment, shame, jealousy, or feeling unheard, these are emotions. They tell you how you are feeling. A response is what your body and mind do because of those emotions. And This is where anger comes in. Anger shows up quick giving you the energy, & focus that you need to defend yourself, solve a problem, or push back against a perceived threat. In a lot of situations, anger is like a suit of armor , most of the time it protects your softer deeper emotions. Think about the last time you got angry. If you rewind the story, chances are there was another emotion there first. Maybe you felt hurt, or embarrassed. Whatever the emotion , those emotions can be uncomfortable and vulnerable, so your body often responds with anger because anger feels stronger than vulnerability. It feels more protective. For thousands of years anger helped keep us humans alive. Anger served a purpose. Anger evolved as a survival response. Anger is part of the body’s built in alarm system. It is designed to help protect us when we perceive a threat, feel like we have been treated unfairly, or believe one of our boundaries has been crossed. When your brain senses danger it doesn’t wait for slow careful thinking.. It reacts. In a fraction of a second your nervous system prepares your body for action. *your heart beats faster. *your Blood pressure rises * your breathing becomes quicker * your muscles tighten *and your brain becomes intensely focused on the threat. *your liver releases stored glucose into the blood stream, giving your muscles a quick source of energy. All of these changes happen automatically. You don’t choose them..your body does. The purpose of anger isn’t to make you lose control.. it’s to give you energy, confidence, and focus, to protect yourself and respond to what your brain believes is important. Unlike fear, which sometimes makes us withdrawal or avoid a situation… anger moves us forward, it motivates you to approach and confront the problem, defend yourself, or protect someone or something that you care about. Most of us grow up believing that anger is a “ bad emotion”. We are taught to hide it. Suppress it. Control it. Or pretend we are not feeling it at all. But in reality anger isn’t good or bad. Anger is information… Just like: Pain Hunger Or fatigue Anger is your body trying to tell you to pay attention.. something important to you needs your attention. Anger isn’t the problem… it’s a signal, and what matters is what you do with that signal. If you ignore it, bury it, or let it control your behavior, anger can for sure become destructive- it can damage your health, your relationships, and it can damage the way we see other people. But, when you understand it, anger can become a catalyst for change. It can motivate you to set healthy boundaries, speak up for yourself, solve problems, and make really meaningful changes in your life. The goal isn’t to get rid of anger, the goal is to understand what you're angry is trying to tell you. What we eat can influence how easily your anger response it triggered. Diet does not create anger , but it does affect our patience, resilience and the ability to regulate our emotions. Foods high in added sugar can cause rapid spikes and crashes in your blood sugar, leaving you feeling irritable, impatient and very short tempered. The same thing can happen if you skip meals and your blood sugar drops too low. Diets high in processed foods have also been linked to increased inflammation and poorer mental health- which makes it more difficult to manage stress, regulate your emotions and respond calmly instead of reacting with anger. The healthier and more stable we keep our bodies , the easier it is for our minds to stay balanced too. Hydration matters too: And don’t underestimate hydration-Even mild dehydration is a stress on your body. Dehydration raises your cortisol-so it’s similar to a stress response, it also causes headaches, low energy, and fatigue, which of course all lower your tolerance for frustration. So, eating regularly, eating whole foods, and staying hydrated is one of the simplest, most physical ways to lower your baseline reactivity. Now, The goal here isn’t to become someone who never gets angry… that’s impossible. It’s to become someone who understands WHY they are angry before they react. The healthiest thing you can do is learn how to care for the system creating the response, your nervous system, your body and your daily habits. Because you may not always be able to control what you feel, but you can learn to manage yourself. Remember this: Anger isn’t something that appears out of nowhere.. It's influenced by what happened to you, what you are thinking, and even how well you have taken care of your body. Enjoy! Joanne Demers The Aging Mask- A Lifestyle Medicine Podcast (949)-236-1529 Follow along on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theagingmask
