The Art of Living Big | Subconscious | NLP | Mindset
433 Are You Open to Abracadabra?
In this episode of The Art of Living Big, Betsy encourages listeners facing big decisions to believe in possibility, like the magic in the hat. Say your ‘abracadabra’ out loud and witness how expectation and willingness can build confidence over time. You don’t have to be certain of the outcome, you can focus on what you are sure of at present and speak it out loud. Are you open to that? Try it and watch what you begin to notice. Transcript: Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show today. I’m excited to be here. I’m also recording it on a Tuesday, and I know that probably means nothing to you, but it does mean something to Joy, who edits these podcasts. So I’m quite pleased with myself. I’m celebrating. That’s, like, the big win. I’m on it, you guys. I am on it. We missed a couple weeks because of Belize and just, like, all the things happening around that, and so I feel really good about being back on track and back with you. All right. So today, I’ve been thinking about this. There’s so many things. I wanna say, I, I feel like we need to have a… Here’s what I really want. I want, like, a, a private podcast where you guys could come in, where I know who’s listening, and I can tell you all kinds of stories. Like, I have so many stories from the last six weeks, probably, crazy and amazing, and, the magical universe continues to unfold in wonderful ways that delight me. And so and so, I, because- I don’t know who listens, do you know what I mean, ’cause we’re not just in a room together. When… This is why we need to have retreats. This is why I do the retreats. So today, I have had something I’ve wanted to talk about, and I’m trying to figure out, like, how can I talk about this? And so I’m gonna say something that might feel… Like, you might be like, “Ugh.” You, you might turn this off, but hang with me, if you would. And if you’re new here, I promise I’ll make it about you at the end, okay? So everything has always worked out for me. I know. I know that some of you made a face. It’s okay. I don’t mean that everything went the way that I wanted it to, because it didn’t, and I have had years that I would, leave notes sometime in my journal that say, like, “Time travelers, do not return to this day,” you know? I, I, I have had years that I wouldn’t sign up for a second time. You know, if you’ve been here for a while, you know the story about me going to school one day, in high school, and my mom dying in a car accident while I was gone. You know, so, it’s not that things went the way that I wanted. Right? It’s not that everything was magical and perfect. You know, that whole deal with my mother, like that did not w- that did not work out, okay? And I’m not gonna sit here and tell you that it did or that there’s some, like amazing silver lining. There are things that have spawned from that that I wouldn’t have had, experiences I wouldn’t have had because that happened. But it sucked, and I’ve had lots of other things that have sucked and I have had decades that sucked in a miserable marriage. And here I am, and my life is good, and I like who I am, and all of those things can be true at the same time, and it took me a really long time to understand that they could be. And, you know, if you’ve been here for a while, I’ve done episodes in the past. You know, a few years ago, I think I did several episodes on magic, and not the kind of magic like, you know, where you’re cooking toadstools or whatever. But the kind of magic where you’re shifting your perspective, the kind of magic that we talk about in A Course In Miracles, right? That a, a miracle is a shift in perspective. But I wanna tell you about a word. Abracadabra. Abracadabra is the thing that you say before the thing appears, right? That’s, that’s what it f- is for. That’s what people do first, right? The, the rabbit isn’t in the hat yet. There’s nothing up the sleeve. The magician has no evidence at that point, and he says it anyway. He says, “Abracadabra,” out loud in front of everybody. And that’s actually the whole trick. It’s not the rabbit. It’s saying it first. And you probably used to be like that, right? You did. There is a version of you who wanted something and just said it before you had any reason to believe that it was coming the word itself, abracadabra, and you know I love w- you know I love the words. If you’ve been in the Navigate method, you know. People will say a word, and I’ll be like, “Let’s get the dictionary.” Like, what does it actually mean, right? But abracadabra stems from a meaning of I create as I speak. And now somewhere along the way, you stopped saying the thing that you wanted. Maybe you stopped saying it first. Maybe you’ve just stopped. And now you wait. Like, you want something, and you keep it inside until you can see how it could possibly work. You wanna be able to explain it. You want a plan attached to it before you’ll say it out loud. We create as we speak, and our words have vibration. So you want everything figured out before you’ll say it out loud or to another person. And it probably feels responsible. It does, right? But what you’re actually doing is waiting for the rabbit before you say the word, and it’s backwards. It’s actually not how any of it works I think we do this because there is an element in us that is, that is tired. We are tired, and we don’t wanna be disappointed. And I hear people say, “I don’t wanna get my hopes up all the time.” Do you guys remember many years ago when I was looking for a house, and I wanted that mid-century modern house? I still get in bed and think about that , think about that house. I think I offered, like, $100,000 more than asking, and I didn’t get it. Somebody else got it, and I was so disappointed. I see the benefit of it now that I didn’t get that. I’m glad. And I remember at the time knowing I really wanted it, like, knowing I was leaning in, knowing I was letting myself sort of get ahead of myself, and also knowing that I could handle the disappointment, that it felt so fun to be excited about it. It felt so fun to dream about it. Now, without a doubt, I know that my perfect mid-century modern home is is coming. At some point, I don’t know when, I don’t have to know, but I know it’s coming because I lingered in that for so long. I lingered in it without the fear, and when I didn’t get it, it w- it was crushing. My little heart was pulverized, and I handled it. I’m still here. It worked out just fine. I’m still dreaming. It didn’t squash my hopes or dreams. It didn’t take away anything. It just was a little blip as I talk to the universe and explain what it is that I want. Okay. So what I’m gonna do is I’m gonna ask you to just be a little delulu. Be a little delusional. And I wanna be careful with that word ’cause I know the internet has been using it to mean, like, to pretend everything’s fine, and that’s not what I mean. I don’t want you lying to yourself, and I don’t want you calling a bad thing a good thing, right? I don’t want you finding the silver lining in, like, a shit sandwich. Like, that’s not the goal. But delusional, to me, means that you refuse to require evidence in advance. You want the thing before you can prove that it’s possible, and you say it out loud. Say it with me. We’ll say it out loud, right? Do you guys remember when I went to Iceland, and I had … At the time, I had left my husband And I had decided I was just gonna travel around for like six months, and I wanted to really work on myself and get some space. And I had gone down to Florida, and I had gotten an Airbnb for a month, and I was sitting in bed one night looking at TikToks, and I saw this TikTok of this guy who was snowshoeing. It was in Finland, and he was snowshoeing, and the video was like the northern lights swirling above him. And do you guys remember, I said out loud, out loud, “I want that. I want that.” And the that that it was, it was, it was the feeling like life was magical. It was noticing like just the beauty of the world that I am so lucky to be in. It was feeling free, I think, and it was just like th- I just, I, I want that. I watched that video like 20 times. I remember thinking, “How many times have I watched this?” over and over and over again. And like the music in the background was like … I was crying. So repetition, heightened emotion, clarity. I want that. Now, you know, I didn’t even own a winter coat at that time. So it wasn’t like I wanna go to the w- like cold. But if you guys remember, the very next day as I’m scrolling on Facebook, I see a post in a group I’m in saying, “We have one spot left. We’re going to chase the northern lights in Iceland. Does anybody want it?” And I said, “Whoops, I guess that’s for me.” And it went against who I was at that time to just do that, and it gave me clarity, and it gave me confidence, and I believe it helped project me forward on my, on my m- mission in my life. But I said it out loud, “I want that.” I ordered off the menu, and it came. And I’ve said that here before, and I’m gonna keep saying it, ’cause that’s what it is. You order the thing, and you don’t wait to find out whether the kitchen has it. You just order it knowing it’s coming. When I was pregnant, I, I got the room ready. I knew it was coming even though I couldn’t see it. Well, I mean, I could I could feel it. I knew something was happening, but I prepared because I had belief. I didn’t know if everything would work out, but I had belief that it would. Every time that you say it first and it works out, you get a little more willing to say it again. And that’s why it looks like everything works out for some people, right? It’s not that they’re the luckiest. I, I remember I was in a training years ago, I think I’ve talked about this on the show, but I was in this training and this woman said, “I hate it when people say I’m lucky. I’ve worked hard. I’ve worked hard.” And I remember thinking, “I don’t wanna work hard. I wanna be lucky. I wanna be so lucky. I want everything to just work out.” And I don’t think that- People have more luck or less luck, I think that it’s what you’re expecting. It’s not that people get luckier, they’ve just been saying it out loud longer, and so they have more proof. And so they say it faster, and they believe it more, and then they get more proof. And you can start saying that on… at any age. Like, you don’t have to start when you’re young. You could start right now, although we are young, right? But there’s no window on it. There’s no, like, you have to do this between 21 and 27. Like, that’s the part that’s sort of magic about it. And, you know, I have said before that your whole life can change in a single day. I learned that. I’m so grateful for whatever my brain did as a young kid, however my brain was programmed. I, I, you know, I don’t know what made it possible, but when my mom died, when I went to school one day and my mom got in a car accident, and I thought, “Life can change in a fricking instant.” Like, I, got up one day and life was good, and I went to bed and it was never ever the same. It will never be the same as it was that morning I got up. And so I knew, because my brain did something funky, that that could go in the opposite direction. I knew if I believed one, I had to believe the other. And your whole life can change in a single day. You know that ’cause you’ve lived it. You’ve woken up as one person and gone to bed as another person too. Nobody warns you. You learned that the hard way. And so did I. But the ground isn’t unfixed in one direction. It’s just unfixed. And if it can all change in one way, it can all change in the other way, too. It’s the same exact mechanism, which means that the thing that you could want could show up next week, and you would have no way of seeing it right now, where you’re sitting right now. And I don’t think that’s, like, optimism. I actually think that’s just how it works. Because if you believe that my mom died and my whole life changed in an instant, then you have to believe the other, that that’s how it works. Okay. So now, if you are sitting here in this, like, big decision right now, maybe about your life or about your marriage or about your, where you live or whatever, I wanna say something to you, and that is that you cannot make that decision from a place where you believe nothing can change. Because if you believe that your life is fixed, then every door looks like it’s going someplace terrible. And you look one way and you see the next 20 years of exactly this thing, and you look the other way and you see loss. And then people ask you, “How come you can’t just make a decision?” You can’t decide because nothing you’re looking at has any possibility in it. And I’m not telling you what to do. I’ve never told you what to do. But I want you to notice whether you’re deciding from a life you believe can still change or from one that you’ve decided is probably just finished, that this is just how it is I got a message from a woman that went through the program, and she had celebrated her wedding anniversary. Dinner out, great night. She said a year earlier, she never, ever would’ve imagined that she would be on the back of a motorcycle holding onto her husband, having the best day. And you know what she actually wrote word for word, here I’m quoting her, is that, “He didn’t suddenly turn into a knight in shining armor on a horse to swoop me up on a magical day. I created the magical day by trusting myself to say yes to the experience that I wanted to have.” Wow, right? She didn’t wait for someone to hand her a magical day. She said it out loud first, right? So say it before you can prove it. That’s it. That’s the whole thing. That’s the podcast. Say the thing that you want out loud in front of somebody. Well, there’s nothing in the hat. Everything has always worked out for me, not in the way that I planned it, but it has. And I want that to be true for you, too. I want you to be able to recognize that you’ve got abracadabra- don’t let anyone who doesn’t have abracadabra take away any of your magic. And if you’re in a decision right now about your marriage, and you can’t hear yourself, and you don’t know how to find the magic, well, well, I made a free masterclass. There is a free masterclass you can go to, and it doesn’t tell you what to do. But it does tell you how we can help you. You can find it on my website, just at betsy pake dot com. But I want you to think about if I believed there was possibility, what would I do? I promise you wouldn’t stay stagnant. If you believed in the abracadabra, you would say it out loud, and you would notice what you felt called to do. All right. And you know, when you can do that, I think that’s how you live a big life. I gotta finish with that every time, you guys. All right. If you wanna talk to us about coming into the Navigate Method, and I’ve got something else coming soon, if you’ve already left your husband or you’re never gonna leave your husband, I love that for you, too, I’ve got something cool coming. I’m gonna talk about it in the next couple weeks. We’re gonna be launching the next retreat. Please, please come so I can tell you all the things I can’t say on the podcast. And yeah, I love you guys so much. I will see you, I will see you next week Thanks for joining me on The Art of Living Big. I hope today’s episode sparked something within you, maybe pushed you to dream a little bit bigger and live a little larger. Don’t forget to subscribe. Leave us a review and share this podcast with someone you know who might need a little inspiration today. You can find me over on Instagram at Betsy Pake and on my YouTube channel. Remember, the world is vast. Your potential is endless, and your life, it’s yours to shape. Until next time, keep reaching, keep exploring, and keep living big.
