Episode #88
88: Stop Trying to Save Your Marriage—Start by Stopping the Damage First
When couples come into my counseling office in crisis, they almost always want immediate connection, intimacy, and solutions to their problems. It makes so much sense why they want that. But just like in an emergency room, doctors don't ask a patient to run a marathon while they're bleeding—they focus on stopping the bleeding and controlling the damage first. Research shows that couples wait an average of six years after problems begin before seeking help. By that point, years of built-up pain, erosion, and negative spirals have left both partners constantly hurting each other. In this episode of the Communicate & Connect Podcast, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky explains why you have to stop trying to save your marriage right away and focus instead on stopping the four most damaging behaviors: contempt, threats of breaking up, scorekeeping, and constantly bringing up past arguments. >>> Read the show notes for this episode here. Are you having the same conversation over and over? Many couples assume they have a communication problem when they're actually stuck in a relationship pattern that keeps creating the same conflict . >>> Take the free Relationship Pattern Assessment to identify the pattern that may be keeping you disconnected and learn what to focus on next .
