The Dad Edit
Episode 52: Identity, Fatherhood & Finding Yourself - Raising Kids Who Know They Belong
Big Mike on Fatherhood, Belonging, Identity, and the Power of Community What happens when fatherhood, belonging, identity, and barbecue all collide? Andrew and Ryan sit down with Michael, better known as Big Mike , for a raw, funny, no-format conversation that turns into one of The Dad Edit’s deepest discussions yet. Mike is the creator behind Big Mike’s Backyard BBQ , but his story goes well beyond the smoker. What started as a pandemic hobby grew into a creative outlet, a way of bringing people together, and eventually a community of guys who genuinely support one another. From chicken lollies and bacon-wrapped lamb chops to fatherhood, race, identity, sport, and raising kids who know they belong, this conversation goes everywhere. Mike shares what it has been like raising two young children, including the pressure he initially put on himself to be completely present at all times and the realization that sometimes being a good dad really does start with simply being there. The guys get into some of the harder questions dads eventually face: How do you protect your kids without overprotecting them? How do you let them struggle while still making sure they know you’re there? How do you encourage them without turning encouragement into pressure? And how do you support the person your child is becoming instead of steering them toward the person who makes you most comfortable? Mike also opens up about raising mixed-race children and watching their identities develop in real time. The conversation explores how kids begin noticing differences in skin colour, hair, culture, and the way other people perceive them and why the words parents use around their children can carry far more weight than we realize. Even seemingly harmless labels like “the shy one,” “the crazy one,” “the athlete,” or “the easy kid” can become part of how children eventually see themselves. Mike also brings a unique perspective from his academic background. With graduate research focused on parents in sport, cultural diversity, group cohesion, and identity, he breaks down why families operate a lot like teams with roles, conflict, leadership, belonging, and connection except there are no championships or trophies telling you whether you’re getting parenting right. Parenting is the long game. The conversation also digs into youth sports, overcoaching, competitive parents, knowing when to step back, and helping kids pursue what they love, whether that ends up being soccer, basketball, art, gaming, cars, or something completely unexpected. And underneath all of it is community. Mike explains how barbecue unexpectedly gave him something he hadn’t really experienced before: a genuine group of guys from completely different walks of life who cook together, talk shit, celebrate each other’s wins, feed one another, and show up. Food became more than food. It became a way to make people happy, create memories, build friendships, and bring people together. The episode closes with one question every dad should probably ask himself: When your kids look back on their childhood, what kind of dad do you hope they remember? For Big Mike, the answer is simple. The dad who was there. The dad who supported them. The dad who played with them, made them laugh, acted goofy, and kept saying yes when they asked him to be part of their world. This episode is packed with laughs, barbecue, community, and the kind of fatherhood conversation that sticks with you after it ends. If you’re a dad or simply someone trying to do better by the kids in your life, this one is worth the listen. About Big Mike Big Mike is the creator behind Big Mike’s Backyard BBQ , known for his barbecue content, local community energy, and crowd-favourite chicken lollies. He also brings a PhD-level perspective on sport, identity, cultural diversity, and belonging, making him equal parts pitmaster, storyteller, community builder, and thoughtful dad. Follow Big Mike’s Backyard BBQ ( @bigmikebbbq ) on Instagram for barbecue, laughs, questionable pellet-grill opinions, and whatever he decides to cook next. The Dad Edit Podcast, real conversations about becoming better dads without pretending we have it all figured out.
