Episode #10
I Thought I Killed My Mother: Tom Snow on Guilt, Grace, and a 56-Year Walk with God
At 14, Tom Snow built an invention to capture asbestos-laden brake dust off car wheels — driven partly by a need to win his engineer father's attention. It won at the state science fair. Then his mother was diagnosed with cancer and died within the year, and 15-year-old Tom became convinced his research had killed her. A month later, he found a hard tumor in his own gut — the same kind his mother had — and decided he deserved to die for what he'd done. He told no one and sought no treatment. Over the following months, Tom had visions of eternity and heard the audible voice of God tell him, "I love you, and someday I'll provide your perfect mate for you." He doubted it was real. When he discovered his father had taken out a multi-million-dollar life insurance policy on him — and only him, not his brothers — the betrayal sent him spiraling: a motorcycle gang, heavy drinking at 16, and a secret plan to blackmail his father and end his life at the Grand Canyon. He could never get his motorcycle running well enough to leave the city — something he now credits to God's intervention. His actual turning point came one night with his biker friends, retelling his story expecting them to mock it, when the presence of God broke through instead. In this conversation, Tom talks about the early charismatic church that shaped his faith in the 1970s, the night his fist-sized tumor dissolved within 24 hours of a conversation with God about healing, and the moment — years later — when God asked him to forgive his father, who never once apologized, and then to forgive himself. Both, he says, were instant and complete once he made the choice, regardless of whether the feeling was there yet. Tom is the author of the Set the Captives Free trilogy, which explores walking daily with God, church hurt, and false spirituality in the modern church. Tom's closing word for listeners: walking with the true and living God is worth everything — not because life will be easy, but because His peace and presence hold in the middle of the hard, the wilderness, and the wait. Connect with Tom: Books: The Daily Stand; Set the Captives Free; Set the Captives Free 2: Evil's Great Masquerade Website: https://just2beclear.com/set-the-captives-free-too/ Timestamps [00:00] Introduction [00:41] Meeting Tom: A Teenage Invention and a Father's Attention [04:32] When His Mother Got Cancer [06:50] Finding the Same Tumor in Himself [07:44] Four Months of Visions [08:59] The Audible Voice of God [12:50] His Brother Bruce's Salvation on an LSD Trip [14:59] Trying to Get Saved and Feeling Nothing [19:23] The Spiral: Doubt, a Harley, and a Motorcycle Gang [20:58] Discovering His Father's Insurance Policy [23:33] The Blackmail Plan and the Grand Canyon [26:42] Saved Among His Biker Friends [29:31] The Early Charismatic Church, 1971–1977 [34:12] "Would You Like That Healing?" [36:10] The Power of Shame to Block Love [37:18] Forgiving a Father Who Never Apologized [44:10] Forgiving Himself [46:41] The Daily Stand and the Set the Captives Free Trilogy [53:01] Walking With God Is Worth Everything [55:38] Closing Reflection Want to be a guest on The GraceForge Podcast? Send Karen Dittman a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/1733503318442796293a1fecb
