Episode #93
093 When the Wound Becomes a Scar: Horses, Healing & the Courage to Forgive with Haley Murray
There’s something remarkable about a 1,200-pound animal choosing to trust you. For Haley Murray, that relationship with horses became much more than riding. Her horse Boomer began showing her things about trust, fear and herself that she hadn’t quite been able to name. During one liberty-work session, Haley removed the ropes and watched Boomer run. She didn’t chase him. She didn’t force him back. She stood in the middle of the arena and waited until, eventually, he chose to return. That moment would come to mean much more. In this conversation with Rivers, Haley shares the story of experiencing abuse as a child, what happened when the truth finally came out, and how those formative years shaped her relationship with faith, forgiveness and trust. She also talks about something we don’t always acknowledge about forgiveness: sometimes you think you’ve finished with it, then years later you discover another layer waiting for you. Haley remembers writing her grandfather a letter before the birth of her first child. She remembers seeing his number when he finally called. She remembers wanting to tell him she forgave him and realizing, in that moment, that she couldn’t quite get the words out on her own. And she talks about the unexpected freedom that followed when she finally could. Years later, becoming a mother brought another part of Haley’s story into focus. Despite being extraordinarily vigilant about protecting her own children, she discovered that a parent cannot control everything that happens to them. What stayed with her was something else: when her children needed her, they told her. Sometimes the most important thing we can give someone is a safe place to tell the truth. Haley describes what happened to her as something that was once a deep wound and is now a scar, something she can point to and talk about in the hope that another person might hear her story and feel a little less alone. And perhaps that’s where Boomer comes back into the story. Sometimes you have to let the horse run. Sometimes you have to stand quietly in the arena. And sometimes trust means discovering that when the ropes are gone, there is still somewhere safe to come home to. In this episode: Haley’s unusual connection with horses and what they taught her about trust The liberty-work experience with Boomer that changed their relationship Haley’s experience of childhood abuse and the moment the truth came out Why forgiveness unfolded in layers rather than one defining moment The phone call with her grandfather she will never forget How faith carried Haley through some of the hardest years of her life What becoming a mother taught her about protecting children, listening and healing Why giving someone a safe place to “run” can matter more than trying to fix everything The courage Haley sees now when she looks back at her 12-year-old self How Boomer eventually went from the safety of the arena to riding alone in the mountains Why Haley believes, “If I can trust God in the arena, then maybe I can trust Him in the mountains too.” A question to carry with you: What in your life might change if you stopped trying to force the outcome and made room for trust instead? Because sometimes someone else’s story doesn’t simply tell us who they became. It helps us recognize something in our own. To connect with Haley: Visit her website here! Exciting upcoming events at Horse Connections: Petals & Ponies Aug 13, Sept 3 Free Utah Flower Day Drive through event Aug 27 Grounded: A Women's Workshop Oct 9-10 Community Ed Classes for Adults, Teens & Kids this fall
