The Human Intimacy Podcast

Intimacy is a fundamental human experience that goes far beyond romantic relationships. Join us as we dive into the deep and multifaceted layers of human connection, exploring everything from friendship and family bonds to self-love and vulnerability. Through thought-provoking conversations with experts, personal stories, and practical advice, we’ll uncover the secrets to nurturing meaningful relationships in a fast-paced digital world. From exploring trust and fostering emotional intimacy to navigating conflicts and rediscovering oneself, we’re here to discover the essence of what it means to truly connect with others and ourselves. Whether you’re seeking to improve your relationships, gain insights into human behaviors, or simply crave a meaningful conversation that enriches your understanding of human connection, you won’t want to miss a single episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast.

The Human Intimacy Podcast is a society podcast hosted by Humanintimacy, with 131 episodes on record and a Required Pod Score of 80. PitchCentric scores this show on Booking Probability, Listen Score, and live audience signals refreshed every 24 hours.

Humanintimacy hosts The Human Intimacy Podcast, a society show with 131 episodes published.

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  Episode #133

  Between Discovery and Disclosure: Seeking Truth Without Causing More Harm (Episode #132)

  Aug 18, 202629 min

  Between Discovery and Disclosure: Seeking Truth Without Causing More Harm Episode Summary After betrayal is discovered, the need for answers can feel immediate and overwhelming. The betrayed partner is trying to understand their reality, while the partner who broke trust may be unprepared to provide a complete, coherent, and honest account. When these conversations happen without preparation, couples can become trapped in cycles of questioning, defensiveness, freezing, partial answers, and painful trickle truth. In this episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, explore the difficult period between discovery and a formal therapeutic disclosure. They explain why slowing the process down does not mean denying the betrayed partner information. Instead, the goal is to gather the truth thoroughly, prepare for difficult questions, and reduce the risk of additional confusion and relational injury. The conversation also addresses why the question “Why did this happen?” requires more than a quick explanation. Understanding the deeper story may involve examining coping patterns, shame, trauma, sexual history, and personal choices—while maintaining responsibility for the harm caused. Listeners will learn how emotional regulation, appropriate boundaries, written questions, professional support, and a structured disclosure process can help couples move toward greater clarity, accountability, and safety. Resources & Links The Intimacy Repair Method™ for Couples — Coming Soon The upcoming IRM for Couples program will provide a structured approach to help couples strengthen emotional regulation, interrupt reactive cycles, rebuild safety, and develop healthier ways of communicating after relational injury. Learn more and watch for updates at IntimacyRepairMethod.com . Find a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) Couples preparing for a therapeutic disclosure may benefit from working with clinicians trained in betrayal trauma, compulsive sexual behavior, and the disclosure process. Find a provider through IITAP . RISE: Hope and Healing From Sexual Betrayal A 12-week guided course for betrayed partners offering assessment, education, and practical tools for managing trauma responses and moving toward healing. Explore the RISE course . RECLAIM: Healing From Pornography and Rebuilding Your Life Support for individuals working to understand and change pornography-related patterns, secrecy, shame, and unhealthy coping strategies. Explore RECLAIM . The Human Intimacy Podcast Find additional conversations about therapeutic disclosure, betrayal trauma, emotional regulation, relationship safety, and rebuilding trust. Listen to the Human Intimacy Podcast . Questions for Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn Listeners may submit questions for consideration in a future episode at info@humanintimacy.com . Closing Invitation If you and your partner are caught in repeated cycles of questioning, freezing, defensiveness, and unresolved pain, you do not have to navigate this process alone. The upcoming IRM for Couples program is designed to help couples slow these interactions down, regulate difficult emotions, communicate more productively, and create a clearer path toward truth, safety, and repair. Learn more at IntimacyRepairMethod.com .

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  Episode #132

  Betrayal Trauma Is Not Codependency (Episode #131)

  Aug 11, 202628 min

  Betrayal Trauma Is Not Codependency Episode Summary For years, partners who have experienced sexual betrayal have sometimes been labeled as codependent or “co-addicted.” But is that an accurate way to understand what happens after betrayal? In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore the important difference between betrayal trauma and codependency. They discuss research showing that the trauma symptoms experienced by betrayed partners are distinct from codependency and explain why labeling a betrayed partner as codependent can unintentionally shift responsibility away from the person who engaged in deception or betrayal. At the same time, codependent patterns can exist in any relationship. Kevin and MaryAnn explore what happens when we become afraid to speak honestly, avoid conflict, enable unhealthy behaviors, lose our sense of identity, or depend on another person to determine our worth. The conversation also explores the importance of differentiation—learning to remain connected to others without losing yourself. Healing means recognizing what belongs to you, taking responsibility for your own growth, setting healthy boundaries, developing your voice, and refusing to take responsibility for another person's choices. Ultimately, healthy relationships are not built by losing ourselves in another person. They are strengthened when two people develop a clear sense of who they are while learning how to love, support, and connect with each other. Resources Facing Codependence — Pia Mellody A foundational resource for understanding codependency, its origins, and developing a healthier sense of self. Codependent No More — Melody Beattie A classic resource for recognizing codependent patterns, developing boundaries, and learning healthier forms of self-care. The Other Side of Infidelity — Dr. Kevin Skinner | TEDxRiverton A presentation exploring the often-overlooked experience of betrayed partners and the traumatic impact of sexual betrayal. Learn More About Healing as a Couple If sexual betrayal has affected your relationship and you are trying to understand how to move forward together, learn more about the Intimacy Repair Method™. The Intimacy Repair Method provides couples with a structured approach for rebuilding emotional safety, restoring trust, understanding each partner's experience, and creating greater connection after betrayal. Visit IntimacyRepairMethod.com to learn more about resources, courses, and opportunities for couples.

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  Episode #131

  Betrayal Rage: How to Regulate Overwhelming Emotions Without Abandoning Yourself (Episode #130)

  Aug 4, 202631 min

  Betrayal Rage: How to Regulate Overwhelming Emotions Without Abandoning Yourself Episode Summary After betrayal, many people experience a level of anger or rage that feels completely unfamiliar. They may yell, lash out, throw things, or feel an intense desire to make their partner understand the depth of their pain. When the moment passes, shame often follows: Who am I becoming? Why can’t I control this? In this episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, explain why betrayal rage is often a natural trauma response. When the nervous system perceives overwhelming threat, the brain can become flooded and shift into fight, flight, or dissociation. Understanding this response does not excuse harmful behavior, but it can replace shame with compassion and create an opportunity for change. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn explore how betrayed partners can recognize triggers, create a pause between emotion and action, and listen for the deeper pain beneath the rage. They also discuss how the partner who caused the betrayal can remain accountable and emotionally present without becoming defensive or escalating the conflict. Healing does not require eliminating every trigger. It means learning how to recognize what is happening, respond in ways that reflect your values, and develop a plan for moments when emotions become overwhelming. Key Ideas Betrayal rage is often an involuntary trauma response to deception, loss, humiliation, abandonment, and emotional threat. Understanding the biological response helps reduce shame, but it does not make physical, verbal, or emotional harm acceptable. Emotional flooding limits the brain’s ability to reason, empathize, and communicate productively. Choice begins with awareness: recognizing triggers creates space between the initial reaction and what happens next. Rage may function as a protector, defending a more vulnerable part that feels rejected, powerless, foolish, or not enough. Healthy regulation may include grounding, journaling, physical movement, support from others, planned timeouts, and professional help. The partner who caused the betrayal can help by acknowledging the injury, accepting responsibility, and remaining present when it is safe and productive to do so. Resources & Links Mentioned in the Episode Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal by Dr. Kevin Skinner Includes the “Five Whys” exercise discussed in the episode for identifying the beliefs and pain beneath intense emotional reactions. Learn more at Human Intimacy . Emotional Flooding—The Gottman Institute Learn how elevated physiological arousal interferes with listening, reasoning, and productive communication: Understanding Emotional Flooding . The Resiliency Advantage by Al Siebert, PhD Explores resilience as the ability to experience adversity while learning how to respond, adapt, and move forward: The Resiliency Advantage . Additional Support Trauma Inventory for Betrayed Partners A free assessment developed by Dr. Kevin Skinner to help betrayed partners identify and better understand their trauma symptoms: Complete the TIBP . 100 Days to Healing After Sexual Betrayal A structured program offering education and practical support for recovery following betrayal: Explore the program . IRM Couples Intensives An immersive experience for committed couples who need personalized support as they work to restore safety, strengthen communication, and move forward after betrayal: Learn about upcoming IRM Couples Intensives . Invitation If betrayal has left you and your partner feeling overwhelmed or stuck in painful patterns, an Intimacy Repair Method Couples Intensive may help you understand what is happening and develop a clearer path forward. These intensives provide focused guidance, personalized couples sessions, and practical tools for rebuilding emotional safety and connection. Learn more about upcoming IRM Couples Intensives .

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  Episode #130

  Should You Do a 90-Day Sex Fast? Understanding the Purpose, Pitfalls, and Path to Deeper Intimacy (Episode #129)

  Jul 28, 202621 min

  Should You Do a 90-Day Sex Fast? Understanding the Purpose, Pitfalls, and Path to Deeper Intimacy Episode Summary Is a 90-day sex fast the right choice for your relationship? In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore one of the most frequently discussed—and often misunderstood—recommendations in betrayal recovery and unwanted sexual behavior treatment. Rather than focusing on whether couples should or shouldn't abstain from sexual activity, they examine the purpose behind a 90-day reset and why intentionality matters far more than the number of days. They discuss how a temporary pause in sexual activity can reduce pressure, create emotional safety, and help couples develop healthier patterns of connection. At the same time, they caution that without clear expectations and a shared plan, a sex fast can create frustration, distance, or unrealistic expectations rather than healing. Listeners will learn why rebuilding intimacy requires much more than simply removing sex from the relationship. True healing comes from strengthening psychological safety, emotional connection, honest communication, affection, friendship, and shared experiences. Whether you're considering a sex fast or simply looking for healthier ways to reconnect, this episode offers practical guidance for building a stronger relationship. Based on their clinical experience, Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn encourage couples to view a 90-day sex fast not as a rule or punishment, but as one possible tool for resetting patterns, developing greater self-mastery, and creating deeper intimacy that extends well beyond the bedroom. Key Takeaways A 90-day sex fast is a tool—not a requirement—for healing. Couples should clearly define what a "sex fast" means before beginning. The primary goal is to reduce pressure and rebuild trust, not simply abstain from sex. Emotional, verbal, intellectual, and relational intimacy should intentionally increase during the fast. Learning sexual self-mastery and emotional regulation benefits both partners. Physical affection may still be appropriate if both partners establish healthy boundaries together. Without a thoughtful plan, a sex fast can create distance rather than connection. The healthiest outcome is a stronger overall relationship—not simply the return of sexual activity. Tools for Your Healing Journey The Intimacy Pyramid – Build your relationship on psychological safety, trust, and multiple forms of intimacy before focusing on sexual intimacy. Emotional Regulation & Sexual Self-Mastery – Learn healthier ways to regulate emotions and sexual desire without relying exclusively on sexual behavior for comfort or connection. Intentional Relationship Rituals – Daily practices such as walking together, reading together, meaningful conversations, laughter, and shared experiences strengthen connection throughout the healing process. Podcast Discussion Questions – Additional conversation questions are available in the Human Intimacy Podcast Companion Course to help couples continue these conversations together. Your Next Steps Healing after betrayal doesn't happen through information alone—it happens through intentional practice, guided conversations, and consistent connection. 1. Join Our Free Podcast Companion Course Looking for additional support between episodes? Our Human Intimacy Podcast Companion Course is completely free and includes discussion questions, companion resources, and practical exercises designed to help you apply the principles from each podcast episode to your own relationship. Whether you're listening on your own or together as a couple, these resources will help you deepen your conversations, strengthen your connection, and continue making meaningful progress between episodes. Enroll for free today: https://www.humanintimacy.com/course/human-intimacy-podcast 2. Ready for a Deeper Level of Healing? If you and your spouse are ready to move beyond simply surviving betrayal and begin rebuilding trust, emotional safety, and lasting intimacy, we invite you to join us for the Intimacy Repair Method Couples Intensive, September 9–13, 2026 in the beautiful mountains of Utah. This immersive five-day retreat is designed specifically for committed couples seeking lasting healing after betrayal. You'll work personally with Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, through private couples sessions, experiential exercises, and the proven Intimacy Repair Method. Together, you'll learn practical tools to strengthen communication, restore trust, deepen emotional connection, and create a roadmap for your future together. Your retreat experience includes comfortable lodging, delicious meals, and a memorable mountain adventure designed to foster connection in a peaceful, restorative setting. Because of the personalized nature of this intensive, space is intentionally limited to ensure every couple receives individualized attention. Learn more and reserve your place today: https://intimacyrepairmethod.com/irm-for-couples-intensive-1 3. Continue Learning with Human Intimacy Explore additional articles, relationship assessments, online courses, and practical resources designed to help individuals and couples build healthier, more connected relationships. Visit: https://humanintimacy.com If you have questions or would like us to discuss a future topic on the Human Intimacy Podcast, we'd love to hear from you at: info@humanintimacy.com "Healing doesn't happen by avoiding difficult conversations—it happens by learning how to have them safely. Whether you begin with our free Podcast Companion Course or join us for an immersive Couples Intensive, we're honored to be part of your journey toward deeper connection, lasting intimacy, and a stronger relationship."

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  Episode #129

  Guilt After Betrayal: How Remorse Can Lead to Relationship Repair (Episode #128)

  Jul 21, 202629 min

  Guilt After Betrayal: How Remorse Can Lead to Relationship Repair Episode Summary What role does guilt play after betrayal? Although guilt is often viewed as something negative, it can become an important force for accountability, empathy, and healing. Unlike shame—which says, “I am a mistake”—guilt recognizes, “I made a mistake, and my actions caused harm.” In this episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore how healthy guilt can help someone move toward the person they have hurt. When guilt remains connected to empathy, it allows us to recognize another person’s pain, tolerate the discomfort of what we have done, and respond with meaningful efforts to repair. Shame, by contrast, often turns our attention inward, leading to defensiveness, withdrawal, or emotional shutdown. The conversation also examines guilt experienced by betrayed partners. Betrayal can affect a person’s ability to parent, connect, regulate emotions, and live according to their own values. That guilt must be met with compassion and an understanding that trauma temporarily changes what a person can carry. Repair is rarely accomplished through a single apology. It develops through repeated moments of emotional presence, accountability, compassion, and changed behavior. When guilt is approached wisely, it can help us turn toward ourselves and others with greater honesty, care, and courage. Resources & Links Mentioned in the Episode Shame vs. Guilt — Brené Brown Brown explains the important distinction between shame, which focuses on identity, and guilt, which focuses on behavior. The Power of Guilt: Why We Feel It and Its Surprising Ability to Heal — Chris Moore, PhD An exploration of guilt as a relational emotion that can encourage accountability, reconciliation, and repair. The Betrayal Bind — Michelle Mays A resource for understanding the attachment injuries and complex healing process associated with sexual betrayal. Note: The title and author were spoken imprecisely in the recording; the correct reference is Michelle Mays’s The Betrayal Bind. Rebuild Your Relationship After Sexual Betrayal — Dr. Kevin Skinner A practical guide for couples seeking to understand betrayal, rebuild safety, and develop a more intentional path toward relationship repair. What Is Self-Compassion? — Kristin Neff, PhD An introduction to mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness—the three central components of self-compassion. Self-Compassion Practices — Kristin Neff, PhD Guided practices for responding to guilt, pain, and self-criticism with greater compassion. Additional Support Human Intimacy Explore additional podcasts, courses, and resources for healing from betrayal and creating healthier relationships.

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