
Episode #52
Episode 52- Back to Basics: Empathic Responding & Returning Responsibility
Returning Responsibility: Handing the Power Back to the Child In this episode of The Play Therapy Circle, host Kylie Ellison continues the series on foundational child-centered play therapy skills. Following on from tracking and reflecting feelings, this week's focus is returning responsibility: the skill of handing decisions, choices, and problem-solving back to the child, without withholding support, delivered in a warm and genuinely caring way. Kylie explores why this skill can feel counterintuitive for caring professionals whose natural instinct is to step in and help. She unpacks the difference between doing for a child and empowering a child to do for themselves, and why that distinction matters so much developmentally. Many children arrive in the playroom with underdeveloped agency, having learned that adults are the ones who speak, decide, and solve problems for them. Some children defer responsibility because of an external locus of control, while for others, particularly those who have experienced trauma or family violence, deferring to adults and people-pleasing has been a survival strategy. Returning responsibility offers these children a different relational experience: one where they are trusted to know what they need and capable of deciding for themselves. Kylie shares some of the classic Landreth-informed language she leaned on early in her career, phrases like "in here, that's something you can decide" and "you can decide how you want it to look," and explains why grounding statements in "in here" helps signal that the playroom operates by different rules to the outside world. She also walks through the common mistakes practitioners make when learning this skill: refusing to help with tasks that are genuinely beyond a child's developmental capability, delivering the statement too rigidly or without warmth, overusing it when a child actually needs practical assistance, and missing the moments when a distressed, dysregulated child needs co-regulation rather than an invitation to problem-solve alone. Kylie also touches on how this skill extends beyond the playroom, and why it's a valuable tool to introduce to time-poor, overstretched parents during consultations, so the growth happening in session can be reinforced at home. A short but rich episode packed with practical, ready-to-use language for your next session. Don't miss out - tickets to the 2026 Play Therapy Circle Conference are limited. Secure yours today - Play Therapy Circle Conference 2026 - Kylie Ellison Therapy & Training Join the circle - Circle Subscriptions - Kylie Ellison Therapy & Training

