Episode #38
S2 EP38 I Know Exactly What's Wrong. Why Can't I Make Myself Do It? With Juliette Karaman
Welcome Hello, lovelies. It’s Juliette here Have you ever lain awake at 2 a.m. knowing exactly what’s wrong in your relationship? You could write the list. In fact, you probably already have. You’ve read the books. You’ve listened to the podcasts. You know what needs to change. And yet, morning comes… You make the coffee. You’re kind. You get on with the day. And you tell yourself you’ll deal with it when things are calmer. When he’s less stressed. When the kids are older. When the house is finished. When you’ve both worked through your trauma. But what if the reason you’re not taking action isn’t because you need more information? What if your body is stopping you before you even begin? In this episode, I explore why knowing what’s wrong is often not enough to create change, especially when acknowledging the truth feels as though it could threaten the life, relationship, and story you’ve built together. You’ll discover how the nervous system can move into freeze before your conscious mind has even made a decision, and why waiting for your partner or your circumstances to change can quietly keep your own power outside of you. I’ll also guide you through a simple two-minute Touch Base practice designed to help your body experience safety, choice, and agency again. Because you don’t have to begin with the enormous conversation. Sometimes change begins with one tiny thing your body learns it can safely do. Find your stage If you know something needs to change but you keep finding yourself frozen, avoiding it, or waiting for the “right” moment, take the free Touch Reset Quiz. It will help you recognise the pattern you’re in, understand how your nervous system responds to intimacy and closeness, and discover where to begin. Touch Reset Quiz → https://feelfullyyou.com/touch-reset-quiz Episode Summary Why can you know exactly what needs to change in your relationship and still find yourself doing nothing about it? Because insight isn’t always what’s missing. Sometimes your nervous system is protecting the life you already have. In this solo episode, Juliette Karaman explores the hidden freeze response that can appear when you finally acknowledge that your relationship, intimacy, or connection is no longer the way you want it to be. Admitting that something isn’t fine can feel much bigger than simply starting a conversation. It can seem to threaten the house, routines, holidays, family life, and even the version of your relationship you’ve shared with the outside world. So the body braces. And instead of acting, you wait. You tell yourself you’ll begin when your partner changes, when life becomes less stressful, when the kids leave, or when you’ve both done more healing. Juliette explains why these perfectly understandable reasons can also keep your power to create change somewhere outside of yourself. Rather than beginning with a big conversation that may cause both partners to brace even more, Juliette introduces Touch Base, a simple two-minute sensory practice that helps you slow down, notice what’s happening in your body, and practise safety and choice. The goal isn’t to manufacture desire or force intimacy. It’s to show your body that you can choose something small and follow through with it. That is where agency begins. And from that foundation, structured communication, self-touch, intentional touch, and deeper intimacy can gradually become possible again. Key Takeaways Knowing what’s wrong isn’t the same as feeling able to change it. You can understand your relationship patterns intellectually and still find yourself unable to take the first step. Your body may freeze before your mind decides. That tiny moment of bracing can happen automatically, making avoidance feel easier and safer than action. Admitting something isn’t working can feel threatening. Speaking the truth may seem to put your routines, relationship, family life, and the story you’ve built together at risk. Waiting can quietly move your power outside of you. Waiting for your partner to change, life to calm down, or circumstances to become perfect can mean you never have to take the first step yourself. You don’t have to begin with the big conversation. A serious “we need to talk” moment can cause already-braced nervous systems to tighten even further. Start with something your body can actually experience. A small sensory practice can help you notice your body, slow down, and practise making a conscious choice without demanding a particular outcome. Consistency matters more than intensity. Two intentional minutes, practised regularly, can be more useful than waiting for the motivation to make one enormous change. Agency begins with following through on a small choice. What matters is that you decided to do something and then did it. That experience can begin changing the pattern of freeze. Safety creates the foundation for deeper intimacy. Structured touch, communication, and self-touch become more accessible when the body has begun to experience greater safety and choice. Patterns can change. You may not need another book, podcast, course, or piece of insight. The next step may simply be small enough for your body to feel safe taking it. I'd love to hear from you drop me a text! Resources & Links Let’s keep the conversation going over on Instagram. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review and share your thoughts. I love hearing your stories. And remember, you are scrumptious just as you are, inside and out. FREE Taster Deck: https://feelfullyyou.com/cards-free-taster Intimacy and Communication Card: https://feelfullyyou.com/cards 10 Touch Rituals : https://feelfullyyou.com/10-touch-rituals Touch Reset: https://feelfullyyou.com/touch-reset-quiz Be Touched: https://feelfullyyou.com/be-touched-masterclass Touch Point: https://feelfullyyou.com/touch-point Find out more about Juliette Karaman here: https://feelfullyyou.com Follow Juliette on instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/juliettekaraman/ Follow Juliette on Facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/juliette.karamanvansc...
