Episode #24
Monogamy, Polyamory, or Something Else? Finding Your Relationship Style with Dr. Eli Sheff Part 1 | Episode 24
What kind of relationship actually works for you—and how much of that answer comes from what you genuinely want versus what you've been taught a relationship is supposed to look like? In this two-part conversation, we sit down with Dr. Eli Sheff, sociologist, certified sexuality educator, longtime researcher of consensual non-monogamy, and Director of Sexual Health Alliance's Advanced Certification in Consensual Non-Monogamy. Drawing on more than 25 years of research, Dr. Sheff takes us beyond the stereotypes surrounding polyamory and into what people's relationships and families actually look like. In Part 1 , we explore the many ways people build relationships, from monogamy and polyamory to swinging and other forms of consensual non-monogamy. Dr. Sheff introduces the Bonding Project, explains how to determine which relationship structure might work for you, breaks down common mistakes people make when opening relationships, and tackles everything from unicorn hunting to couples privilege. There is no single relationship structure that works for everyone. Monogamy, polyamory, swinging, and other relationship styles come with different expectations around emotional intimacy, exclusivity, autonomy, and commitment. Before trying consensual non-monogamy, it's important to consider not only how you feel about having additional partners, but how you would feel about your partner having those same opportunities. SHOW SUMMARY: 00:00 – Non-traditional Relationship Models and Cornerstone Needs 00:21 – Introduction to Dr. Eli Sheff and Consensual Non-Monogamy 01:14 – Guest Icebreaker: Dr. Eli Sheff's Background in African Dance 01:54 – Overview of The Bonding Project Relationship Test 03:56 – Audience Compatibility and Romantic Bonding Archetypes 05:59 – Inspiration and History Behind Creating The Bonding Project 08:10 – Relationship Diversity, Stigma, and Fluid Expectations 09:58 – Paid Results Expansion and Managing Polycule Expectations 11:49 – Sponsor Segment: Sexology Practice Guide Promotion 12:28 – Defining Consensual Non-Monogamy, Open Relationships, and Polyamory 13:47 – Emotional Intimacy vs. Couple's Privilege in Polyamory and Swinging 16:12 – Identifying Personal Alignment with Monogamy vs. Polyamory 19:07 – Structuring Relationship Boundaries, Open Arrangements, and Alone Time 21:33 – Sociological Differences Between Polyamory, Polygamy, and Polygyny 22:56 – Socioeconomic Requirements of Polyamory and Women's Autonomy The Sexology Lab is powered by Sexual Health Alliance, a global hub for world-class certifications, cutting-edge education, and a thriving community of professionals. Many of the show's guests also share their expertise at their events. Join them at: SexualHealthAlliance.com More from this episode's guest and topics discussed: Dr. Eli Sheff: https://elisabethsheff.com/ The Bonding Project: https://www.bondingproject.com/ Sexual Health Alliance Advanced Certification in Consensual Non-Monogamy: https://sexualhealthalliance.com/consensual-non-monogamy-certification If you loved these episodes, please take a moment to subscribe and leave a review! Your support helps us reach more people who need these insights. Thanks for tuning in to The Sexology Lab. See you next week! https://www.sexologylab.com/
