The Third Thing

A podcast Hosted by Michelle & Danyelle: a coach and a therapist, an interracial and queer best friend pair of 26 years. The Third Thing is where we are naming and confronting the topics that challenge us in platonic relationships. On friendship and race, money, sobriety, politics, when we drift or breakup, and the jealousy nobody admits to. Each week we spill the tea from our hurdles, and offer up the tools we’ve learned along the way.

The Third Thing is a society podcast hosted by Michelle Koffler & Danyelle Caruthers, with 12 episodes on record and a Required Pod Score of 80. PitchCentric scores this show on Booking Probability, Listen Score, and live audience signals refreshed every 24 hours.

Michelle Koffler & Danyelle Caruthers hosts The Third Thing, a society show with 12 episodes published.

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  The Third Thing

  Bonus Episode: Tarot Reading on Money, Scarcity, and Rest

  Aug 20, 202628 min

  Ever wondered what actually happens in a tarot reading? Not the vague, Instagram-caption version, but a real one, with real questions, real doubt, and cards that don't let you off easy. In this bonus episode, Danyelle gives Michelle a live reading using the Crow Tarot deck, right as Michelle is heading into a trip during a stretch of financial uncertainty. What comes up is the Five of Pentacles, King of Wands reversed, and the Hierophant, plus a Saturn retrograde transit landing directly on Michelle's natal moon. Together they work through the difference between real scarcity and inherited scarcity, why this moment is asking for stillness instead of action, and what it looks like to finally give an old protective part of yourself permission to rest. In This Episode: How the Crow became part of TTT lore Setting intentions for a reading: focusing on the question, not the outcome The pull: Five of Pentacles, King of Wands (reversed), the Hierophant Five of Pentacles and reframing scarcity as a moment, not an identity King of Wands reversed and why rest can be its own kind of unwavering The infinity symbol and tarot's take on cyclical lessons The Hierophant and questioning inherited beliefs about safety Saturn retrograde on the natal moon and what the next six months are asking Reassigning the scarcity part a new job... Reflection Questions: Where in your life are you focused on what's missing instead of what's already there? What old story about money or safety are you still carrying that no longer matches your reality? If your scarcity or fear had a new job, what would you want it to protect instead? Resources Mentioned: Book a reading with Danyelle: hello @ thethirdthingpod.com The Crow Tarot deck by MJ Cullinane Support the show

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  The Third Thing

  Season 1 Bonus Episode: On Becoming Podcasters and Going Viral

  Aug 13, 202643 min

  We finished Season 1. Ten episodes, recorded and released, exactly the way we said we would. In this bonus episode, we're pulling back the curtain on what that actually took to pull it off. This isn't our typical episode, it's a real-time check-in between two best friends navigating what it means to build something new together. We talk about the shadow work that recording a podcast together has surfaced in our friendship, the wild ride of going viral (and what it was like to face that kind of attention together), the perfectionism and fear that come with being visible on social media for the first time, and what we've learned about taking care of each other in the middle of it all. In This Episode: What it's really been like recording Season 1 together as best friends The shadow work our friendship has surfaced through this process Going viral: the numbers, the backlash, and how we got through it Facing perfectionism and fear around building a public platform from scratch What's coming in Season 2 — starting August 27 Reflection Questions: Where in your own friendships do you avoid the harder conversations by putting distance between you instead? What would it look like to let yourself be new at something, without needing to be great at it right away? Who in your life makes you feel safe enough to grow, even when it's uncomfortable? FYI: Season 2 launches August 27 Got a friendship story or dilemma? Send it to hello@thethirdthingpod.com Connect With Us: Follow along @thethirdthingpod on Instagram, and join us on Patreon for early access, community tarot readings, and more. Support the show

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  The Third Thing

  Episode 9: Money Differences in Friendship - When Your Incomes Don't Match

  Jul 30, 202638 min

  You've never told your best friend what you actually make. Or you have, and you watched their face change. Money might be the last real taboo in friendship, more off-limits than sex, more off-limits than politics, and it's quietly shaping who feels safe going to who for what. Michelle and Danyelle trace their own money stories back to childhood, growing up feeling scarcity in a wealthy area, absorbing very different lessons about what success and entrepreneurship meant, and carrying those wounds into 26 years of friendship. They get honest about the years their incomes have flip-flopped in both directions, the shame underneath "I can't afford that," and what it means to keep showing up for each other when one person can pay for dinner and the other can't. In This Episode Our first memories of money, scarcity, and what success looked like growing up Why money is treated as more taboo than almost anything else in friendship The years our incomes flip-flopped, and what that brought up The shame behind "I can't afford that" and learning to say it out loud Race, privilege, and who gets the runway to build wealth Redefining "value" in a friendship beyond who's picking up the check The Page of Cups tarot pull on curiosity and bringing lightness to hard conversations Reflection Questions Have you ever told a friend what you actually make? What would it take to have that conversation? Is there an imbalance in one of your friendships that's never been named out loud? Connect With Us Instagram: @thethirdthingpod Website: TheThirdThingPod.com Join our Patreon community for monthly events, deeper conversations, early access, workbooks, and more. If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend and leave a rating or review. It helps more people find the show and keeps the conversation going about friendship, growth, and what it means to show up for each other. Support the show

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  The Third Thing

  Episode 8: How to Stay Friends When Life Pulls You Apart

  Jul 23, 202654 min

  Content warning. This episode includes a discussion of a suicide attempt starting at 6:09 and running through 8:42. Please take care of yourself while listening. Skip ahead if you need to. If you or somebody you know is struggling, the 988 suicide and crisis line is available 24-7 by call or text. You left the friend group chat on read for six months and it wasn't a fight, it was just life. School. A new city. A relationship. A marriage. A baby. If you've ever wondered whether going quiet on your best friend means the friendship is over, this episode is for you. Michelle and Danyelle trace the full arc of their own friendship, from splitting up at 15 when Danyelle left their high school, through different cities, different relationships, and into marriage and parenthood, to make the case that drifting apart isn't a verdict on a friendship. It's what happens when two people are actually out there living. The real work isn't preventing the distance. It's choosing, deliberately, to find your way back. In This Episode Why leaving high school became the first of many life-stage divergences Moving to different cities, and what it costs a friendship when proximity disappears The couch conversation where one of them finally said "I feel abandoned" How attachment styles and nonviolent communication changed how they show up for each other now Becoming a "third parent" and what it means to rebuild closeness after marriage and kids A two-card tarot pull (Knight of Swords and The Fool) on trust, journey, and taking the leap Reflection Questions Which of your friendships is in a quiet chapter right now? What life stage pulled you away from someone you love? What would it take to check in, and what's stopping you? Resources Mentioned xx Connect With Us Instagram: @thethirdthingpod Website: TheThirdThingPod.com Join our Patreon community for monthly events, deeper conversations, early access, workbooks, and more. If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend and leave a rating or review. It helps more people find the show and keeps the conversation going about friendship, growth, and what it means to show up for each other. Support the show

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  Episode #7

  Episode 7: Boundaries Aren't Just for Romantic or Familial Relationships

  Jul 16, 202644 minS1

  Boundaries are everywhere in conversation right now, but almost no one talks about how tangled up they are with shame, especially in friendship. This week Michelle and Danyelle get into it: where their earliest boundary memories come from, why setting one can feel like a rejection, and how they've actually negotiated real boundaries with each other over the years. They introduce the BEAT framework for knowing when it's time to set a boundary, break down what a boundary actually is, and walk through two real examples from their own friendship including what it looked like to ask for what they needed and where they met in the middle. In this episode: The BEAT framework: Body, Effect, Alignment, Thanks - a check-in tool for knowing when it's time to set a boundary Why a boundary is "the promise we keep to ourselves," not a wall against someone else The four things boundaries can protect: behavior, attention, bandwidth, and inner child work Why boundaries can feel violent or shameful, and what's happening in the nervous system when they do A real story about a birthday boundary, and what it took to actually hear it Negotiating a boundary around timeliness, and why it isn't a black-and-white issue People-pleasing, fawning, and how socialization (especially as women) shapes our relationship to boundaries Generational differences in boundary-setting, and what it's like watching Gen Z do it differently A Lovers tarot pull on choosing yourself first Reflection Questions Using the BEAT framework, is there a boundary you've been putting off setting? Is there a boundary that was set with you that, looking back, you can now understand differently? Where did you first learn (or not learn) how to set a boundary? Is there a relationship where you've gone quiet instead of naming what you actually needed? Connect With Us 📸 Instagram: @thethirdthingpod 🌐 Website: TheThirdThingPod.com 🎧 Join our Patreon community for monthly events, deeper conversations, early access, workbooks, and more. If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend and leave a rating or review. It helps more people find the show and keeps the conversation going about friendship, growth, and what it means to show up for each other. Support the show Support the show

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