Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse
Grieving an Abusive Relationship: Why Healing Is So Complicated
Most people understand grieving a death, a job loss, or a break up. However, attitudes toward domestic violence can make it extremely difficult for a person to grieve the loss of theirrelationship. Others may assume that they should be happy to be free of the person and not allow them the same grace extended to people who experience other loses. JBWS staff member Maria Lagattuta joins this episode of Unsilenced to explore the hidden grief that accompanies domestic violence. We discuss why survivors grieve abusive relationships, the many losses abuse creates, and practical ways to begin healing with compassion. In this episode: Why it's normal to grieve an abusive relationship The stages of grief and how they apply to domestic violence Losing your identity, friendships, home, and future dreams Why healing isn't linear and why that's okay Practical coping skills, grounding techniques, and self-compassion Finding community and rebuilding life after abuse CONTENT: 0:00 Introduction 1:38 Why We Grieve Abusive Relationships 5:27 The Sudden Loss No One Talks About 8:30 "Why Am I Still Sad?" Understanding Survivor Grief 15:03 Losing Your Identity Through Abuse 21:33 How to Cope with Overwhelming Grief 27:31 Practical Ways to Be Kind to Yourself 31:05 Trauma Changes How the Brain Remembers 34:47 Don't "Move On" Move Through the Grief 35:31 Why Grief Comes Back in Waves 38:30 A Message for Anyone Feeling Alone 40:19 The Healing Power of a Good Goodbye 45:22 About JBWS and Resources Resources: JBWS' services : JBWS.org/services General resources: jbws.org/resources If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 97.539.7801 or visit jbws.org/jcnv If you don’t live or work predominately in Morris County or Passaic County in New Jersey, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org
