Episode #2
Why do you choose a heart that’s scarred? Love, Healing, and Self-Discovery with Dufflyn Lammers, author of 'You Had Me At Bonjour'
In this episode, Dufflyn Lammers shares her journey toward embracing vulnerability, love, and authenticity through her personal stories, writing, and spiritual reflection. We discuss stories from her book You Had Me At Bonjour as she shares how she has navigated complex relationships, self-acceptance, and attachment healing, all with a beguiling humour and lightness. What we cover The power of self-love and loving others unconditionally, even amidst scars and imperfections How cultural differences influence body image and perceptions of love The importance of loving yourself as you are, without expectations or boundaries The journey from insecure attachment to secure attachment The role of creative practices like writing, improvisation, and meditation in healing past trauma Navigating vulnerability with honesty, and the bravery required to share one's truth The significance of trust, boundaries, and clear communication in healthy relationships The influence of early childhood experiences and family blueprint on adult relationship 00:00 – Introduction & welcome 02:13 – Opening poem: "I Loved Him Once" 04:45 – Loving someone as they are, not as you "should" 06:42 – Writing as a safe space for radical honesty 09:11 – Meeting Benjamin, early recovery, showing up for each other 11:05 – The conversation about not wanting children 13:33 – Clear boundaries, kindly held 14:17 – Dufflyn: the American Love Coach in Paris 15:04 – Attachment blueprint: mother's inconsistency, father's anger 17:31 – The Ideal Parent Figure Protocol explained 20:04 – Embodiment, narrative coherence, and grief 23:17 – Addiction relapse and relational wounding 24:27 – Acting career, approval-seeking, and improv as repair 26:58 – Current workshops & the "You Had Me at Bonjour" experience 28:07 – Jealousy, body image, and a difficult moment with Benjamin 30:07 – Reading: the blessing ritual passage 33:40 – Cultural differences and the "spell" that led to Benjamin 37:46 – The bravery of writing this book 39:56 – Depth and humor: "the French Revolution" line 42:08 – Awe, enchantment, and the poetic life 45:33 – Building an immersive storytelling experience 46:27 – Getting permission: family reactions to the book 50:01 – Where to find the book & closing thanks This conversation underscores the importance of honesty, vulnerability, humour, and spiritual curiosity on the path to becoming more loving and authentic. Tune in to explore how embracing your scars, stories, and awe can transform your relationships and life. You Had Me at Bonjour by Dufflyn Lammers can be bought at all online book stores as ebook or audio book. Check out more of Dufflyn's work at https://www.dufflyn.com